Something About Everything.

2011 Book Challenge

2012-01-03T16:26:00.001-05:00

I kept track of the books I read in 2011. I didn't count short stories, poems, plays, or articles, of course. I only made it to twenty three--that's only two books a month! Hopefully 2012 will be filled with more book reading, but I got some good classics in last year! I'll highlight some of my favorites.

1. The President, Miguel Angel Asturias

2. The Kingdom of This World, Alejo Carpentier

3. Pedro Paramo, Juan Rulfo

4. The Death of Artemio Cruz, Carlos Fuentes

5. One Hundred Years of Solitude, Marquez

6. The House of the Spirits, Allende

7. Beloved, Toni Morrison

8. Thin, Grace Bowman

9. Adultery for Beginners, Sarah Duncan

10. If You Were Here, Jen Lancaster

11. Uncle Tom's Cabin, Harriet Beecher Stowe

12. Tweak, Nic Sheff
13. Dreams of Joy, Lisa See

14. If I Die in Combat Zone, Tim O'Brien

15. The Scarlet Letter, Hawthorne

16. Ceremony, Silko

17. Moby Dick, Melville

18. Ruth Hall, Fanny Fern

19. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Mark Twain

20. The Country of the Pointed Firs, Jewett

21. The Custom of the Country, Edith Wharton

22. The Lover's Dictionary, David Levithan

23. Darkly Dreaming Dexter, Jeff Lindsay

Irving Wordle.

2011-12-13T16:00:00.000-05:00

Here's a Wordle of my last literature paper of Graduate school:

It's a paper about Irving's The Sketchbook of Geoffrey Crayon, Gent and the influence it had on American nationalism. I write about how Irving demystifies European traditions and eradicates the negative image of Native Americans in order to give some stabilization to American identity in the nineteenth century. Pretty cool.

Farewell to graduate school.

2011-12-09T23:26:00.002-05:00

It's the end of graduate school for me. In one week, I'll walk across the stage and receive my Master's degree in English, and I'll continue teaching at ETSU, and it'll be different next semester without the stress of chapters to read and papers to write, but I'll make it through.

It's funny because when I tell people I'm a student, I always get the same response of a smile and shrug. That's because everyone's a student in the area. It's a college town. But what they don't understand is that it's graduate school. Graduate school, for me, was intimidating and consuming, simultaneously calming and chaotic. It's a paradox. Can people function in a paradox?

They can. But only for a little while. That's why graduate school is only meant to last two years. Because if you had to stay in it for longer than that, you'd drive yourself to insanity, swimming in endless research and writing about topics that have been covered for thousands of years just under a different name. It's impossible.

I've scared my roommate. She doesn't want to apply to graduate school. She fears enrolling will end her nights of mindlessly playing with the puppy and catching frozen yogurt with her friends on a whim. She's convinced I'm either always in my room typing a paper, reading a book, or falling asleep from doing one of those things. I don't blame her, as usually it's true, but if you do graduate school, you have to be all in.

I was all in.

It wasn't all work, though. I've met some intelligent, wonderful people in the past year who make me laugh about things that only we English people think is funny. The kind of people who don't mind discussing either books or teaching until we're blue in the face; the kind of people who answer almost everything with a bottle of wine; the kind of people who give you hugs at 5PM during finals week when you enter the classroom; the kind of people who understand you, care about you, and support you. Friends.

I'm both happy and sad at the end of this semester. I will be happy to submit these two final papers. I will be happy to stack away my research and lesson plans. I will be happy to have days where I don't think about due dates or alarm clocks. But I will be miss the people and the conversations, the types of bonds you develop through chaos and commotion.

Farewell, graduate school.

Meeting people you already know.

2011-11-05T20:55:00.000-04:00

I went to Atlanta this weekend to give a paper at SAMLA. Last year, I presented there, too, on a British literature paper that I didn't enjoy very much; this year, I presented a paper that I absolutely loved. It was a good trip.

About six professors and three graduate students from ETSU attended the conference. Most of the ETSU professors came to our session, so we decided to reciprocate the support and attend a session later that same day which included two of our professors from ETSU. It was a session dedicated to country lyricists--a topic which I know almost nothing about, but it turned out to be one of the best sessions I attended.

One of the professors came to talk to us before they started. As we were talking, he said, "I don't think I know you." I said, "Oh, I've been at ETSU since undergrad, but I've never been in any of your classes." He said, "Yeah, I was busy with honors the past few years or so." To this, I replied, "Yeah, I met you during undergrad once for advisement, but since I wasn't in the honors program, I had to find a new adviser." We laughed about the emptiness title of honors and continued talking.

He had to travel five hours to meet a student who has been wandering the same halls as him for the last six years.

Then, they presented their papers, and he ended his with a gorgeous rendition of "Good Ole Boys Like Me." We gave him genuine accolades and applause.

And I had to travel five hours to meet a man with beautiful singing voice who has been wandering the same halls as me for the past six years.

I guess conferences are good for meeting new people and the people you already know.

He's quite quotable.

2011-10-28T14:39:00.003-04:00

"Today the world has been turned into a single big unit where only time zones and geographical areas keep people apart."

My students are the people who are going to be the authors of your children's Facebook statuses. Oh yeah.

Stuff students write.

2011-10-15T00:25:00.001-04:00

"If [I] regarded myhometown as an old friend--which means we had built a deep friendship and whereverI go, there is always a place in my heart for an old friend--then Johnson Cityis much more like a girlfriend or boyfriend. People love their girlfriend orboyfriend, and they will often stay with them, but probably they will break upin some day for some reason."

10 months later.

2011-09-13T11:45:00.000-04:00

I'm hoping to be out of them before the new year (knock on wood). I think my teeth look amazing. I'm really happy with the work my orthodontist has done so far.

When I was there yesterday, there was a teenager in the chair next to me. After the assistant checked her out, the orthodontist came over and said, "Are you ready for them to be taken off?" She said, "No." Strange, huh? It's not that she didn't like what they braces had done, but she just liked having them on. He said (in a nutshell) that she was a weirdo and yes, they must come off today. I wish I could have seen her smile after she had them off, but I didn't get a chance. I don't think I'll have that same issue when the time comes. While I don't mind them so much, I also don't mind having a beautiful, metal-free smile.

History meets writing.

2011-08-18T23:46:00.002-04:00

Although my blog has been neglected this summer for the most part, my reading has still continued. I've read a couple more books since I last posted.

I finished Lisa See's Dreams of Joy. It's a sequel to last year's novel Shanghai Girls. I've been a fan of See since I read Snowflower and the Secret Fan (I still haven't seen the movie!) and I even commented how despite the scariness of her ghosts in Peony in Love how much I liked that book. While I did enjoy Shanghai Girls, I didn't love Dreams of Joy as much. Most of the beginning felt like a retelling of the past book (to get people caught up, I'm sure), so it felt slow going at first. Once (SPOILER) Joy and Pearl are back in China, though, it gets good. I felt so sad towards the end of the book because See has a way of telling horrible truths about Mao's Great Leap Forward. I couldn't imagine living in a country where people literally starved to death or switched their small infants with another so they could eat the other child. It's just gruesome and horrible and sad. The book ends on a happy note (and with no lead into another book). I like reading historical fiction because it blends history with a story. No, it wasn't all real. But you know? People did starve. People did die. People were brainwashed and terrorized and worked until they died. And See gives us people to invest in who go through these things. Makes it real. I don't know--I appreciate that.

If you think the next book I read was something uplifting, you would be wrong. I picked up Tim O'Brien's If I Die in Combat Zone: Box Me Up and Send Me Home. I have mentioned several times my love for O'Brien's The Things They Carried. This book was different, though. While The Things They Carried told war stories, this book told specifically of O'Brien's time in Vietnam. From when he was drafted to thinking about fleeing to walking into war zones to watching people die, the book reads almost like a diary. It's sad. It's also obvious that O'Brien was completely against the war in Vietnam, so he questions the validity of the things he has to do and see throughout the novel. He questions courage, too. While the book isn't written as eloquently as the other (and why should it? It's a memoir.), it is definitely easy to read and probably noted as one of the most honest Vietnam memoirs in print. If you are curious about war or what happens when unwilling men fight a war, you should read this book.

I start back to school in about a week where I will have lots to read (Moby Dick, Portrait of a Lady, and Huckleberry Fin are all on the ever-expanding list this semester!). I may pick up another book before then to ease myself into the semester...

What are you all reading?

Capturing my career.

2011-08-05T10:56:00.001-04:00

I like seeing my name next to "Instructor". Ahhhh/yayyyyy!!! :):):)

A short update.

2011-07-29T14:41:00.005-04:00

It's almost been two months since I posted a blog! Wow, I've been scarily busy this summer, so I haven't been able to write anything. It's been an amazing summer, that's for sure. This may come as a surprise since I've blogged before on how much I hate summer. I guess anything is possible now.

School starts in about a month! This should be my last semester at ETSU. I'm hoping to get my MA and TESL certificate in December (as long as pass the composition exam in October). I'm really excited and really nervous! I have no idea what I'm going to do afterwards. It will be like two years ago all over again. I've been blogging for nearly two years?! What?!

With the beginning of school also comes the beginning of teaching! I will be teaching Comp1010 at ETSU and (hopefully) an ESL writing course. Cannot believe it! Woah.

Despite the obvious amount of work I need to be doing in order to prep for all of these upcoming hurdles, I have doing things like walking around aimlessly outside, baking bread, and waking the dog up every time he closes his eyes (it's really funny). I'm quite the go-getter.

At least tomorrow I can blame Target for making me work while I could have started on ~~evening out my tan lines~~ prepping for the fall semester.

A book!

2011-05-29T23:30:00.004-04:00

I accidentally read a book not on my MA reading list last week (whoops). I went into the book store looking for a book of short stories to use for my Upward Bound class, and I came across Tweak by Nic Sheff. I thought it looked interesting, so when I came home, I downloaded it to my Kindle and read it in a few days.

The book starts when Nic is eighteen months sober. He soon relapses back onto meth and finds himself desperate for help. He gets clean (again) and starts rebuilding his life (again) until he runs into his dream girl, Zelda, who eventually drags him down with her back onto drugs. He relapses, justifying that his life with Zelda is worth it. Soon, Nic faces consequences for his actions--either jail or sobriety. He chooses sobriety. The epilogue notes that Nic did have a small relapse afterwards, but maintains that he is clean now. The book chronicles his ups and downs of living with this horrible addiction, the way it transforms his mind, life, and relationships.

I read a lot of memoirs from people who struggle with addiction. I think it's because I feel like I have an addicting personality--that I could become easily addicted to something (which is why I've never touched a drug!). I feel empathy for people who try to break the cycle of addiction and can't. It's heartbreaking. So when someone rises above that (and writes about it), I love to read it.

Anyway, I am living back at the dorm, getting ready for UB to start next week. I met the instructor I will be a TA for today, and she seems nice. We're reading This I Believe along with a couple of T.S. Eliot works. Yay, books! And I'm all set with my short stories and journalism classes. I am really excited for the students to be here next week! I think this will be a great experience for them (and me).

Excitement!!

Optometry.

2011-05-24T17:33:00.005-04:00

I'm not a fan of doctors. I literally have to be in excruciating pain in order to seek medical help. And that pain must last for a considerable amount of time before I make an appointment. I just don't like wasting doctors' time for things that will go away on their own.

The exception is the eye doctor. I don't mind going to see an optometrist because they allow me to see better. And I can't read if I can't see, so pretty much my eye guy is the only way I can actually drive/read/study/function normally in society. I love putting on new glasses and being able to see everything SO clearly. It's wonderful. I don't even care about that puff of air test. Pschhh, puff as much air as you want to in these babies--you got the good stuff, doc (you know, vision).

Side note: I hate picking out frames for these beautiful lenses. I can't stand it. And I always forget how much I hate it until I have to pick some out. This last time, I spent about an hour searching for frames that were not reminiscent of you the gigantic pink ones, circa 1990 I wore when I was little (thanks, mom), and I finally just stood in the middle of the frame area. Just stood there for about three minutes. And two eye-glass-specialist guys came up to me and asked me if I was okay. Like, healthy okay. I told them yes, I was fine--I just hate frame shopping. And I chose two frames and let one of the guys decide which was better. End of story. Picked them up five days later. Case closed. I will erase this from my memory until the situation repeats itself in two years.

Anyway, I decided this year that I will try contacts again. I had them in high school, but I didn't care for them that much. Too much work for not enough gain. I never saw out of them as well as I did my glasses and they were so fragile. I didn't take really good care of them. Blahblah. So, it's been about five years and I wanted to try them again. After my eye exam, the optometrist told me that they had to order my trial pair of contacts because I have special eyes and the entire room of contacts they have does not contain one pair of contacts that suits my prescription.

Okay, no prob.

I went back today and my worst fear came true: I put in those little lenses and . . . I couldn't read. I sat there and they lady asked if they felt okay. Ummm, yeah. They feel fine, but I can't read any better with them on. Like, I can barely read that big sign behind your head, lady, that I could read perfectly beforehand. What's the deal?! Contacts fail. I had to go through the whole eye exam again so she could find a better fit. We ordered different (stronger) ones this time. Or as she says, more special ones.

My faith in optometry is not shattered, rest assured. I asked her if the new ones would really make that big of a difference because I didn't want to waste her time, and she looked at me kind of like I was a freak of nature. She just smiled and told me that she wasn't sure, but that it would be worth looking into, and that it wasn't a problem at all.

Oh, I do like optometrists. They are so opt[o]mistic.

[haha. pun. you laughed, admit it.]

Ducky.

2011-05-22T20:00:00.002-04:00

He's actually better trained than Jasper:

Slavery and an electric eel.

2011-05-19T13:21:00.005-04:00

Hey, guess what book I do NOT recommend you read over summer break?

Uncle Tom's Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe.

Now, it's free for Kindle readers (pro), but it's quite depressing (con). I actually really enjoyed the beginning of the book (pro) all the way until about the end (super long (con)). And when I say "enjoyed the book," I mean "did not enjoy reading about slavery, but man, Stowe can write well." I feel really badly for Tom, the main character because he's so patient and giving and ultimately dies at the hands of slave holders. (See? Told you. Sad.) But a couple of slaves escape to freedom, so there's happiness in some form. Stowe stabs at religion and politics in the novel, but I have to say that my favorite line is neither political nor religious in the book, but is a universal truth:

"Of course, in a novel, people's hearts break, and they die, and that is the end of it; and in a story this very convenient. But in real life we do not die when all that makes life bright dies to us."

I know, I know. Sad. But true, nonetheless. I am making my way through the MA reading list and now I'm on to Their Eyes Were Watching God. I don't know exactly what it's about, but I'm hoping it won't make me ~~cry~~ tear up like this book did. And since I'm heading to the beach tonight, I am considering reading something else entirely while I'm there because I'm not totally convinced it will be a beachy read.

My roommate (it's her birthday! Yay!) says I shouldn't be reading at all while we are the beach, but what else are you supposed to do at the beach? Swim? Uhhhh, no. I'm actually more excited about the beach now because I'm not really afraid of the ocean as much as I was before (very little, ironically). Sonny ~~forces me to watch~~ watches this show called River Monsters and that guy? He catches some really scary fish in fresh water. That's right--ponds, lakes, rivers. He caught this guy in a mud puddle on last night's show:

(I breathe air, I kill people!)

(Picture from here.)

So, I'm feeling pretty good about dipping my toes into the ocean knowing that thing lives in fresh water.

Yay, beach!

When funny things happen at work.

2011-05-17T23:50:00.010-04:00

Scene i.

Setting: Target. Guest is buying Mario Kart for the Wii and an X Box game.

Me: Can I see your ID, please?
Guest: For Mario Kart?
Me: Oh, no. The other game is rated R. Could you imagine? Mario Kart rated R? It would have to be like Mario shooting the shells at babies.
(short pause)
Me: I'm sorry. That was inappropriate.

I still read, I promise.

2011-05-11T13:42:00.006-04:00

It's been a while since I've reviewed a book!

Jen Lancaster released her first fiction novel If You Were Here last week, and I finished it within a few days of receiving it. I've loved her memoirs, so it was no surprise that her novel read just as quickly and wittingly as her other books. As a matter of fact, I don't really see the difference between her memoirs and the characters Mia and Mac--as they are obviously based off of her and her husband Fletch. The book revolves around the couple's attempt to buy a house that needs repair. And when I say "needs repair," I mean "should be demolished and rebuilt with a new everything." The story is a light-hearted way of showing how home improvements can strain relationships (all types of relationships). The novel is laden with references to John Hughes' movies and characters (none of which I got), so if you are a part of the '80's cult who worships this guy, you would probably enjoy the multiple allusions to his works. I have no clue what she's talking about, but I still enjoyed the book. So, there's that. I definitely loved her earlier memoirs much more than her recent stuff, but I'm a fan all the way. I can't give her anything less than four stars: ★★★★

Since I finished that book, that brings my total this year to only ten books. Ten. How sad. But I'm hoping to read a few this summer. I'm reading Uncle Tom's Cabin right now and awaiting the release of Lisa See's Dreams of Joy at the end of the month. I'm having to read quite a few books this summer in order to be ready for the final composition test in the fall (so I can graduate). I know, I know. You thought I was reading 19th Century American fiction for pleasure. Silly, you.

I have three weeks until I move back into the dorms for the six week adventure of teaching/baby-sitting teenagers. I'm exciting and concerned about the whole thing. I just hope I know what I got myself into!

Okay. Back to reading.

Wordle III

2011-04-24T23:22:00.004-04:00

This is the Wordle of the paper I've been working on this weekend. Kinda cool 'cause the paper is about cultural memory in magical real texts. I like it.

You can check out my other Wordles here and here.

Things I Google.

2011-04-13T16:01:00.003-04:00

Me: Can you declaw a lion?

Sonny: What? What is declawing?
Me: Taking the front claws out of a cat. You think they'd do it to a lion?
Sonny: I don't know, why?
Me: I just thought that you might be able to keep a lion if it was declawed.

Answer: Yes, you can declaw a lion. But apparently, it is frowned upon.

(I don't own a lion, but here is Echo all sweet and cuddly with claws. Take what you can get.)

It's been a while!

2011-03-20T22:26:00.002-04:00

The other day I walked into an office on campus and one of the guys in the office said, "Hey! How have you been?" as if I knew him, so I played along and carried on a conversation for a while until they took care of my office needs. Once I left, I finally figured out where I knew him from--Target!

This happens frequently. But you know what doesn't happen as often? That person calling you out on it two days later. I went to work tonight and he was cashiering right beside me and said, "So, I saw you Friday, but it seemed like you didn't know who I was."

Errr, yeah. Thanks for pointing that out.

Awkward.

Anyway, I've been lame with blogging lately. Spring semester is so hard for me to concentrate on anything, let alone blogging. I'm really excited for the summer because I will be an RA for the Upward Bound program at ETSU--which also means that I'll get to teach two elective classes (of my choice!) and team teach another class. Woohoo! I'm not sure yet what exactly I want to teach, but I know at least one of them will be literature based. Since they are electives, I want my classes to be fun, interesting topics. What would you (as a high school student) want to study as an elective?

I'm excited for that and I'm excited for fall semester because I'll be teaching two sections of Comp1010! I've missed teaching so much, so I'm ready to get back in to it!

Purge.

2011-02-22T15:55:00.005-05:00

Have you ever had a moment when you look around you and feel grateful for the choices you've made?

I had that moment today. After receiving a message today saying, "Without a doubt, you are the biggest mistake I've ever made," I thought about exactly what I've done up to this point to deserve that type of description. And you know what I came up with?

Nothing.

I'm glad that I've made the choices I've made. I'm glad that when I was told "Don't do that," I went ahead and did it. That when I was told "You can't," I showed them I could. I'm glad that I have chosen to have some of the best girl friends in the world over a relationship. I'm glad that I've taken my education to the next level when I was told I should "get a real job" and quit school. I'm SO glad that I never listen to people who don't keep my best interest at heart.

I've made mistakes, but I know I am not a mistake. Just because I put myself first doesn't mean I don't have the capacity to care about other people. Just because I don't love you doesn't mean I'm incapable of loving other people. Just because you couldn't keep me doesn't make me a stray.

Today, I am purging out everything that reminds me of those people who try to control me by putting me down.

I'm done.

Riddle me this.

2011-02-15T23:22:00.004-05:00

Since I'm teaching English 1010 next semester, I am shadowing a professor who is teaching it this semester. I will not rant on about how useless my "mentor" is, but something funny happened today in the class. (FINALLY. I was worried about the sake of our future because all of these students just come to class and do work without interruption.)

So, the class was all quiet and reading over a worksheet (gag) and the student who sits right next to me said to the professor, "Can I ask you a question? Well, can I ask the class a question? What would you do if a number you didn't know texted you and it said, 'Wanna play a game?'"

Of course, the class starts laughing (Some of them caught the allusion to Saw. I didn't.), and he goes on to say that it was from a 703 area code or something and that they have sent him a riddle that says something like: I am everywhere until you speak my name. Then, I am gone.

OF COURSE I immediately google it and find the answer (silence) and tell him and then start hoping that he shows up to class on Thursday because otherwise, I'm pretty sure the "game" he started playing is the making of a really good (bad) horror film and his death is certain.

This is the most interesting (and educational) thing that has happened all semester in this class. Fun stuff, I tell you. FUN.

Looking forward.

2011-02-04T15:12:00.003-05:00

I miss teaching.

The closest I come to actually imparting educational wisdom is during my three hours a week at the tutoring center. And since I work on Friday afternoons, I don't get to do much helping. (Apparently there are better things to do on a Friday afternoon than overhauling your paper? Imagine that!) I had a student today who was so willing to work on his paper that it really made me miss teaching. I miss students like that--the ones that have a good head on their shoulders, care about what they're doing, and listen. He's going to do well.

People tell me all the time that "it takes a special person to be a teacher." I have to say that I believe that. Not in the romanticized way that only wonderfully awesome people with limitless amounts of patience can be teachers, but the kind of people who are able to laugh, empathize, and recommence are good teachers. If you're the kind of person who thinks that there is only one right way to do something, your way is the best way, and one time should get the job done, you're probably not cut out to be a teacher.

I am taking classes towards my Teaching English as a Second Language certificate now. Because I did my undergrad minor in education, I figured this would be like an addition to my database of educational ideas. I was wrong. Teaching English to second language learners may be even more difficult than teaching tenth graders (for the hundredth time) that of is indeed a preposition. English is hard. It's a difficult language to learn--especially out of context.

The other night during class, we were trying to think of words that follow certain patterns in English. Out of the four of us, two of us were native English speakers. You'd think that we'd be able to think of endless amounts of words, right? Like we've been speaking this language for over 20 years, so you'd think we'd have some type of advanced vocabulary bank? You would be wrong. I have never been more convinced that language is like an unconscious ability. Like breathing or driving. Once you learn it, you forget how to do it.

I used to be afraid that I would forget how to walk. I know it sounds stupid, but it's true. Walking also falls into the category of the unconscious abilities. I was always afraid that I would wake up one day and just forget how to get up. I also worried that I would forget how to read. Now, I'm really really glad I didn't. I'm not sure I have the patience to re-learn English.

Anyway, I'm excited about learning a whole new side of teaching. I'm not sure I'm going to be that wonderful at it, but it will come in time.

Happy weekend, all (:

I'm so lame sometimes.

2011-01-28T15:11:00.003-05:00

Sorry I have been lame about blogging lately. The semester has started, so my schedule is a little crazy right now. That and really, I'm not doing anything that interesting.

I signed a contract today that confirms I am on four payrolls at the moment. Why, you ask? Well, I'm doing some data analysis in the linguistic field. I just could not turn down the opportunity to do actual work in the field. I mean, come on! It won't be long-term, but I'm excited about having it on my resume. The work is a little meticulous, but it's good.

As for you all who think I'm becoming the only reason unemployment is so high, you are wrong. My roommate just got a job! Yay!! There you go, recent grads: Hope.

I have also entered the awkward world of dating once again. I've been out with a couple of people in the past couple of weeks. While my DNA allows me to be able to talk to a wall (which makes meeting new people amazingly easy), dating is still kind of weird and I'm not really sure of the point. You go out and have fun and that's great, but it will inevitably lead to the disintegration of itself. Seems like a lot of work for no long-term benefit. I guess we'll see what happens.

At the beginning of last semester, I felt like I was kind of drowning in the graduate program. I was a little unsure of my abilities and felt behind the rest of the grad students. This semester I am feeling more optimistic. There are some areas where I am not the most knowledgeable; there are areas where I am. That's how it works. I'm getting it (finally).

I read everyone's blogs all the time, so even if I'm not commenting, I am reading! Hope you all have a great weekend! :)

Progress.

2011-01-13T13:28:00.004-05:00

Okay, I realize this first picture is a little crazy, but since I became an expert at taking pictures without showing my bottom teeth, this is one of the only ones I have that shows how kind of crazy they were.

Two months into having braces, this is what has changed:

My front two teeth are MUCH straighter already. I'm happy! Take that, dental problems!

Just in between.

2011-01-11T21:25:00.003-05:00

Alas, another sub job was canceled Monday due to snow. Wintertime sure is harsh for a sub. But on the bright side, I did sled for the first time yesterday and it was SO fun! I took the dog, too. He didn't seem to like it as much as I did, though.

I haven't been blogging because I am boring. And nobody wants to read about my boring days of sitting around the house watching my roomie torture the poor animals into performing some type of entertainment for us. (The animals are scared of at least three more items in our household now.)

I didn't make any New Year resolutions. I usually don't make any abstract ones like "Become a better person" or "Be nicer" because I know I would never do those things on a daily basis. I've made some resolutions before (and failed at them), so I'm not really looking to set myself up for something to work towards that I don't really want to reach anyway. I'm also in a weird transition phase of my life where I'm just not sure what's going to happen in the next month, two months, or six months. I don't know where I'm headed; I don't have a plan. It's weird for me. My roommate graduated last May, so she may or may not be moving out this next summer. I'm graduating (supposedly) in December, so I may or may not be staying in JC for much longer. My GA ends in May (until next August), so I will have to look for another job for the summer in order to pay rent (any ideas?). I'm considering doctorate programs, AmeriCorp, traveling to teach with my TESO certificate, moving to Memphis, and staying put in JC as options for after graduation. I have a lot of doors open to me which is great, but it is also nerveracking. I can't decide what I really really want to do the MOST. I want to do it all.

As for tomorrow, I won't be subbing I bet. My roommate just informed me it is snowing again. Time to cuddle up and get that last bit of rest before grad classes start on Thursday.

Snowy sub days.

2011-01-07T08:04:00.003-05:00

I love snow days. I really do. Mother Nature steps in and says, "Take a break, kids. Just watch." And we are her mercy. Like today. For my school district, this is day one OVER the allotted snow days already this academic year. And it's only January. Two county districts have TEN allotted snow days, and thanks to overnight snow, are now at their end of allotted snow days. If winter keeps up like this, we will be in school until July. Which, really, I wouldn't mind because I would get to sub right into the summer!

Happy snow day!

Last book of the year.

2010-12-30T00:05:00.003-05:00

So, I have managed to read 25 novels this year outside of assigned readings. Not too shabby, but I should read more often next year and spend less time on Facebook and Amazon.

Book #25 is The Stuff That Never Happened by Maddie Dawson. It's fairly new--published this past August. I was looking for a new book and it has five stars on Amazon (with 31 reviewers!) which I found to be kind of amazing, so I read it. It chronicles the life of Annabelle and her husband Grant's marriage from the time it started in the late '70s to their current state (set in 2005). The chapters switch back and forth from the '70s to 2005. Shortly after they were married, Annabelle became enamored with Grant's idol, co-worker, and friend Jeremiah. Jeremiah and Annabelle carry on a pretty long affair until they both decide they want to leave their significant others and run off to be together--except Jeremiah backs out of the deal while Annabelle ruins her marriage by telling Grant everything. Alone for a while, she decides she wants Grant back. Obviously readers know she wins him back because in the current chapters, they are still married with two children. Grant takes her back under the condition that they never mention the whole Jeremiah situation again. Everything between the reconciliation of their marriage and the current state of their marriage is blurry, but when Annabelle runs into Jeremiah, her dreams of their life together flood her thoughts and actions. When Grant finds out she not only spoke to Jeremiah but went out with him while she was in New York, the family is torn apart. The ending--well, I won't give it away. What would you do if your spouse had an affair soon after you were married, had forgiven her, and then you learn she sees this person again after twenty some odd years?

I liked the book--it was well-written and not too long. I will look out for more novels by this author!

Because Amazon is becoming increasingly more awesome by the year, people can now swap books. You don't even have to have a Kindle to swap books--just download the app to your computer or phone and a person can send a book to you for fourteen days. Awesome! Books I've reviewed that I can swap are Girls in Trouble, Not Ready for Mom Jeans, How I Became a Famous Novelist, and Invisible. Awesome!!

Happy new year :)

Signage.

2010-12-28T18:43:00.005-05:00

I spent a lot of time last semester reading about linguistic landscape research--the study of signs in different cities. By far, this is the best sign I've seen (and I found it in my own town at my own repair shop!):

Winter break.

2010-12-20T14:51:00.004-05:00

It's the end of the semester, so I'd like to tell my graduate coordinator (and other people) who claimed I was committing academic suicide by taking on five graduate classes this semester:

IN. YOUR. FACE.

Never doubt my abilities to be amazing ;)

Music day.

2010-12-15T20:32:00.003-05:00

Around midnight last night, I decided to search the subbing system to see if there were any (good) jobs available for today. I'm done with researching and writing for the semester, so I figure I should start working like a normal person again. Actually, my roommate decided that I should work--she hit the accept button on the sub job because as she put it, "You know you can't handle a day off doing nothing, so just get it over with."

I picked up a music job at an elementary school I've never subbed in. It's actually REALLY close to my house. If it wasn't less than two degrees outside, I could walk there (but I probably wouldn't anyway because I'm lazy. The option is nice, though.). So I arrived early and the staff was so friendly--I even met the principal. Apparently the wife of the teacher I was subbing for was having a baby today! He gets a new born and I get sixty dollars. You tell me who got the short end of the stick. (Hint: It was NOT me.)

I like subbing for special classes because they are easier than having the same group or groups all day long. I have them for an hour max and send them back to their regular ed. teacher. I had them go around in four centers for fifteen minutes per center--keyboards, listening, reading, and whiteboards. I got really excited when I walked in the room because they are using the same type of keyboard that I had when I was younger. (Does that mean I was ahead of the game or that the school is using old keyboards?) I immediately sent my dad a picture of the keyboard after I played the only song I know ("Silent Night").

See, I play the keyboard like I speak Spanish--I know the vocabulary and I understand the language, I just can't speak it. I read music and I know the keys, but I can't put the two together fast enough to sightread. It was fun to practice today, though. I learned how to play "I'll be Home for Christmas" on my lunch break.

I had K-5 graders (except 2nd). I think I enjoyed the third graders the most (my first class). Every class I had though just HAD to listen to "Thriller" when at the listening station. I have to admit, the little ones were pretty cute when they started dancing to it. I brought out the Lion King soundtrack, too, because it's one of my all-time favorite movies and I love the soundtrack.

I can't complain at all. First day back subbing was a success (although I did get asked twice about my braces from students, ulgh). I will try to pick up again on Friday (I have an exam tomorrow), but since it's their last day before break, who knows if there will be an openings.

My roommate is planning on entering the subbing world in January, so she's been asking a lot about my experiences with it. Since I like teaching, subbing, and the education system in general, I am giving her an optimistic view on subbing. I think she's still on the fence, but I think she's coming around on the idea. Like a lot of us, she just needs the job (or experience).

On top of a good day today, it looks like winter has also brought me extra sleep as my 8AM final has been pushed to 10:30AM because of snow and ice. Thank youuuuu!

Mary, did you know?

2010-12-05T22:24:00.004-05:00

Do you know who Mary Anderson is? Welllllllllll, let me tell you. She is, in fact, the person who invented windshield wipers. Really.

In 1902, on a New York City streetcar on a particularly miserable day, weather-wise, Mary Anderson had a brainstorm. After watching the driver struggle to see out the window, only to receive snow in his face, Anderson wondered aloud why no one had ever done something to improve visibility in inclement weather. Upon being told that it had been tried and couldn't be done, Anderson began drawing diagrams for what would later become windshield wipers. (From here)

Of course, Mary didn't gain any money from her invention because no one thought windshield wipers had "market value" in the early nineteen hundreds. About fifteen years later, another woman had the idea for electrical windshield wipers. She didn't really make that much money either, but she did better than Mary. (Side note: Go women!)

I've had to be creative in the automotive department. When my headlights stopped working a few years ago, I realized that my brights would work--only if I pulled the blinker switch toward me. So, I found a pencil (the EXACT length, amazing!) in my car, and VOILA! Temporary headlights. It was a brilliant invention until I needed to use the blinker (in that case, the pencil would inevitably fall out, causing the headlights to stop working). For a few weeks, I chose headlights over blinker-usage. It worked.

When I bought the Volvo, the glove box kept opening whenever I would run over a bump (or whenever my roommate would sit in the passenger seat). I duct taped it shut. When that became too much of a hassle (read: eye sore), my dad ingeniously drilled it shut. I haven't been in my glove box in over four years, but I need not worry about passengers' knees being bruised.

So, I have had my moments of intellectual automotive innovation, but I kind of need Mary's windshield wipers right now. Mine have stopped working again (darn you, ELECTRIC windshield wipers!), so I need a manual windshield wiper system so I can see out when it's raining (or, in this week's case, snowing). I am already trying to think of some kind of pulley system to create.

In the midst of this new (old) problem, I have decided that a heated windshield would solve my problem this week. And I know you're thinking: hello? DEFROST! But that would NOT solve the problem of incoming snow hitting my windshield on the outside. A heated windshield would turn the incoming snow into rain drops, therefore activating (another wonderful invention) the Rain-X and eliminating my immediate need for wipers.

I mean, if the Greeks and Romans could heat their floors, we can heat the outside of a windshield so I don't have to go to the trouble of buying a new mechanical-wiper-part this week.

(Ten points to whoever thought this post would be Christmas related.)

Happy.

2010-12-01T19:58:00.003-05:00

I have almost made it.

12 intensive weeks have flown by, but I have almost made it through the semester. I will have read more than 17 plays, 6 novels, 4 entire textbooks, numerous poems, and hundreds of pages of research this semester all culminating to about 100 pages of my own writing that will be graded.

Although it has been so much work, I have enjoyed this semester. I will function much like a zombie for the next fourteen days, but I will consider it worth my time and effort. See, the thing I've learned is this: I can do it. Furthering that: I want to do it.

As I was sitting in my Linguistics class tonight, I started thinking about what my friend told me over Thanksgiving break. We were having dinner and I was asking him what he would like to do in his future--university, trade school, etc. He told me that he wasn't really sure. But then he said something that really struck me. He said, "You're lucky. You've always known what you wanted to do."

And that's true. My mom will attest to the fact that I've always wanted to be a teacher. No matter how often people told me I could do other things with my life and make more money, I have always wanted to teach. Interestingly, I never made the conscious decision to teach English. It was just a natural selection for me. I wouldn't know how to teach anything else. And, in my mind, teaching literature is the equivalent to teaching students about life. That's all you really need, right? So, I just majored in English and earned my teaching license because that's just what I felt compelled to do. Nothing else has ever impacted me as much as literature has.

So it was never really a decision for me. It was just a compulsion to feed--a hobby that is lucky enough to be considered a career. The more I learn about literature, the more I learn about other people, other cultures, and myself. I really do feel lucky.

I guess this is just a post about how happy I am in my chaos. I can't imagine a life without learning, teaching, and writing. In the midst of groans, complaints, yawns, and keyboard taps, I wanted to acknowledge that I love my life.

Do you enjoy what you're doing right now?

Braced in.

2010-11-19T10:24:00.003-05:00

So, I'm a little late to the game of orthodontics. When I went in the office, there were two younger girls there, sisters, apparently. The older sister obviously was used to braces, but her younger sister just had them put on that day. When the younger one came out, her mom asked, "How do you feel?" And she said, "Oh, fine." Then the older sister said, "Well, you just wait. You will be hurting later!" I hate to say that the twelve year old probably intimidated me more so than she did her sister. I contemplated just living with shifting teeth and just see what happens. But they finally called me back. After a moment ~~of pure panic because I have yet to commit to a relationship longer than two years, much less a dental plan~~, they put the braces on me and I was able to leave.

Hey, guess what they don't tell you at the dentist's office? My conversation with my dentist should have gone like this:

Dentist: Yes, I see you're having some problems. Perhaps braces will be the best option for you? We can fix this pain by adding an additional pain for an extended amount of time! LUCKY YOU! Why, yes. Do you enjoy avoiding all sorts of yummy food? Do you enjoy popping more than the prescribed dosage of aspirin in one day? Do you enjoy reteaching yourself to eat? Well, if you answer no to these questions, braces really aren't for you. Endure the pain and enjoy a normal, albeit annoying, dental life. The choice is yours!

Uhm, yeah. I know the pain and awkwardness will subside with time. It's just taking some getting used to on my part.

The good news is that I will be home in less than a week! I am sooooo ready for a break.

Give me a brake.

2010-11-10T11:16:00.005-05:00

A couple of years ago, I took my car to Meineke for some type of problem. One of the mechanics there makes me very uneasy. He's the type of mechanic that will tell you a unicorn is living in your engine and you need Ghostbusters to remove it, all for the low, low price of $7,000. After I allowed them (somewhat unwillingly) to "fix" the problem, it turned out it wasn't the problem at all. After going back to explain this to the mechanic, he told me, "You should probably just invest in a new car."

That seems bad for his livelihood, right? I mean, used cars are the only reason he has a job. Why would you tell me that? Plus, everyone knows how much I love my car, so the idea that I would "just buy a new one" is ridiculous. I talked with the guy's manager and told him exactly what I thought about his employee. The manager apologized, but I haven't been back.

Until today. For the past month, my brake failure light has been popping on and off. (Side note: this makes passengers pretty uncomfortable.) Usually when this happens, I need to add brake fluid, but it seems that is not the problem this time. Since I realized earlier this year (the hard way) that my car does not fix itself magically, I figure I should probably get my brakes replaced. Considering the only other shop in town takes an appointment to get in, I figured I would give Meineke another shot. I mean, they specialize in brake repair, right? And it's been two years since that incident, so maybe it will be different?

No, it's not different. The same shady mechanic guy was there, and although I was willing to ignore his past flaws, he brought up the incident. With that, I just left saying, "You're right. I should have gone to someone else to get this work done. My mistake."

So much for second chances. No wonder there is never anyone in their parking lot. With a business man running off customers like that, they don't even need a bad reputation to put them out of business.

Afterwards, I just called the good repair shop and made an appointment for Friday.

Lesson learned.

Presenting a paper (and myself).

2010-11-06T21:47:00.003-04:00

I spent Thursday and Friday in Atlanta at the SAMLA (Southern Atlantic Modern Language Association) conference. This was my first conference, so I was nervous. I presented a paper on Friday ("Shakespeare's Influence on Victorian Actresses") and it went really well. I spent all of Friday going to sessions that looked interesting and asking questions. I heard a couple of papers that dealt with vampires (Twilight, True Blood, and Buffy, etc). I've never been into the craze, but hearing the papers about the books (or movie/TV show) was actually interesting. I also heard a few papers that dealt with other popular culture texts. Hearing these sessions makes me feel better about being in this field because it will never end. Plus, I read a lot of recent best sellers--being able to do scholarly work on them appeals to me.

I stayed with a couple of other girls from the program and we decided that although conferences are fun and interesting, it is like being in a little bubble of English world and not really practical (in fact, probably based more on self-interests than sharing ideas). I believe I benefited from the conference in both ways, though. And I know presenting my ideas is important if I ever want to be published (yes, I do) or be accepted into a PhD program (maybe). I also learned that you can write whatever you want about whatever you want and some people will always be willing to listen to you.

I feel more optimistic since my last post. I let literature influence me so deeply sometimes that I find it hard to distinguish between literature and life (because sometimes there just isn't a line). Now that the conference is behind me, I can focus on my school work without that hovering over me. I have lots to do, but I will get it all done before the end of December.

Have you ever taken a car ride with people who you don't know too well? I did this weekend. We talked almost the entire way there and back (four hours each way), so we got to know each other pretty well. By the end of the weekend, one of the girls said, "I need to be writing these things down, Tiffany." Because, apparently, I am amusing. And weird. Weird in a good way, though. Like how I'm almost deathly afraid of getting my blood pressure taken or how my roommate and I created a point system for the animals (and us) or how I thought the show Bones was about paleontology. I may live in my own little world. Being around other people who aren't usually in that world makes me really appreciate my world even more. I live a wonderfully weird life. (And the girls I went with are also wonderfully weird!) That was also a positive effect of the conference. Always good to get to know fellow scholars.

Here's to a day off tomorrow! Yay!!

Just Average.

2010-11-03T14:46:00.005-04:00

Last night, my roommate asked me to list all the jobs I've ever had. This is this list:

Chick-fil-A (2 years)
TJ Maxx (6 months)
DialAmerica (6 months)
Party Works (1 summer)
American Classic Suites (4 years)
Target (2 years)*
Subbing-including interim position (1 year)*
Secretary for Biology (4 years Undergrad)
Research Assistant/Tutor (1 semester)*

*Currently still working these jobs
(That's a job every year since I was fifteen. Geez.)

I thrive in a structured environment. I've always been a student while working. I just don't know how to function without that type of structure. I told her, "I think if you're not learning something then what's the point?"

This discussion came after a slight breakdown last night. We read Miller's Death of a Salesman for class last night, and it is so depressingly sad. (Maybe I am too sensitive to literature. I can't help it.) Because the whole point of the play is that Americans are spoon fed the idea that we can be whatever we want to be as long as we work hard enough, but in reality, most of us will end up being the average, everyday Joe. Nothin' special. And I just thought: Oh my gosh. If that is how I end up, I will just go insane. I will.

I've been told my whole life that I can anything I want to do. That I can accomplish anything I want to accomplish as long as I have the motivation and work ethic for it. And while this may be true to an extent, I just wonder if I've come to a point where I'm (gasp) not good enough.

I've always worked hard (note the jobs). I work really hard in graduate school, too. I research, I read, I write, I talk, I read, I write and I feel like I'm okay at it. I love to do it. I feel like my fellow students are ahead of me, though. As if they have something I don't--a bigger vocabulary, a deeper knowledge of everything, a better writing ability. I feel behind. Inadequate.

These fears are based on unfounded truths, I will admit. I have yet to fail at anything in my life, but I can't shake this feeling that I'm not cut out for this. That if my professors were honest with me, they would tell me that I should look for other interests. Maybe I am just insecure--burdened with a heavy workload shadowing my confidence at the moment. I just don't know.

I'm looking at my calendar right now. Days are marked with titles of books, page numbers, presentation dates, after school obligations, and bill reminders. This calendar doesn't even have my work schedule on it. It is too full; I keep that one elsewhere. If I am working to be average, I am working entirely too hard. I refuse to accept this idea, Miller. I just can't.

Something amazing has to be in my future.

Rain and Dry.

2010-10-25T19:41:00.004-04:00

Last week was like living in a whirlwind--incredibly busy and frantic. Today, I was actually caught in a whirlwind of rain and dangerously high speed winds. It was supreme. Quite possibly the best moment of the past seven days. I love storms. It's like nature takes the spotlight and makes you forget about writing, research, and deadlines. The storm literally ruined my to-do list (it was in my pocket). Thank you, Autumn.

I finished reading Dry by Augusten Burroughs last weekend. I loved two of his other books (Running with Scissors and Magical Thinking), so I wasn't that surprised when I quickly read through this memoir of him beating alcoholism. There is something about this kid that I just like. He tells about his struggle with his job, his relationships, and his addictions so bluntly that I can't help but say, "Yeah, I get it. I understand." There's something about someone telling a story so honestly that gets me. Plus, he's funny. So there's that. I suggest if you want to read this, you should read Running with Scissors first so you can understand the foundation of his radicalness.

I'm onto Eat. Pray. Love. My roommate read it and saw the movie, so now it's my turn.

I'm having my wisdom teeth removed tomorrow (boo), so I'm hoping I will be unconscious for as long as I have severe pain. This also means that I've been having to do some extra work so I don't fall behind in school (boo).

In other news, we did not keep Abby. She was apparently raised in a house where there was either a very lonely person or a very racist person. She kept peeing on my roommate (but not me--that's how we figured she was racist). Although she is a very sweet dog (to me), I couldn't keep her if she wouldn't learn how to not pee on Lamanda every time she came into the room. So it's back to just the three of us.

Off to read!

The Verge.

2010-10-18T21:26:00.003-04:00

This is what I've spent my fall break working on, a twelve page paper on motherhood and identity in Susan Glaspell's play The Verge. (Which, btw, if you haven't read it... you must!)

Although it has been a lot of work, I have really enjoyed writing this paper. (Good thing, too, as I have to expand it by five to ten more pages in the next couple of weeks.) I love this wordle of my paper. I have it building up to the word "Claire" because that's what the play does, it builds up to her acceptance of herself as a woman.

Anyway, if you want to check out my last wordle experiment, go here.

Tomorrow, I will probably spend some time working on the other four papers I have yet to start. Ahhh, to be a student again!

When Pizza Hut's buffet is closed, adopt a dog.

2010-10-15T20:52:00.004-04:00

It started as a simple conversation: lunch.

My roommate and I started talking about how we love Pizza Hut's pizza better than Papa John's because it's soooo greasy. And if you're going to have pizza, it might as well be really, really bad for you. So then we decided to go to the lunch buffet! Awesome!

Apparently, the lunch buffet ends at 1:30. Because it was 2:00, that means it was bad news for the buffet. Boo. Since we were still in the mood for pizza and a buffet, we drove off to CiCi's Pizza. After enjoying at least three different types of pizza and discussing why we can't find Osama (even though he practically has his own YouTube channel), we left. On the way home my roommate asked, "You want to stop by the animal shelter?"

Of course I do!

We had been talking about adopting another dog recently. Not seriously but kind of like, "Where would another dog go?" Or, "It would be fun to have another dog around." So when we we stumbled upon Abby today, we were actually surprised to find ourselves saying, "Awwwww, can we have her?!" We decided that we could.

We went home and brought Jazzy to the shelter to meet Abby (We didn't want any dog fights). They got along great! They both have argyle collars. It was meant to be.

She's a four year old Pomeranian. Her owner had to give her up because she was allergic to her fur. Lucky us! She is super sweet and already trained. (She even had a bed!) I don't want to speak too soon, but I don't regret adopting her!

Next time, though, we'll probably just order Pizza Hut from home and enjoy it with all of our animals. (Or as my mom so lovingly puts it, "our kids.") This family has absolutely no more room to grow!

Just a few things.

2010-10-10T18:39:00.003-04:00

This week at ETSU, To Write Love on Her Arms (TWLOHA) sponsored a six-word memoir event. I have reviewed a couple of six word memoirs (here and here), so I thought it was awesome that ETSU is going to be a part of such a cool idea. Plus, TWLOHA is such an encouraging movement. If you don't know what TWLOHA is all about, I suggest you click on the hyperlink and read about it! The themes for these six word memoirs included grief, pain, and hope. I wrote: Faded scars don't mean faded pain.

What's your six word memoir?

Another cool thing that happened this week was seeing a night of plays with a couple of my best friends. There were three one-act plays. Two by Beckett (Come and Go and Footfalls) and one by Pinter (The Dumbwaiter). It was really interesting (I took notes). The way Beckett uses silence in his play fascinates me. Watching all three of these plays just reitterates the fact that I can always, always, always relate anything back to Beckett's Waiting for Godot. I swear the day I read that play in twelth grade I thought I found the answer to life. It hasn't failed me much yet.

Go Beckett!

I believe I am finally finding sanity in the craziness that has enveloped my life this semester. Thanks to my wonderful family and my best friends, I think I am finally on the road to mending my broken heart (thanks, jerk). Okay, so I'm not completely over it, but I'm better. It's hard to let go of something you've worked so hard on for so long--knowing that it will never turn out the way you expected it to. But I'm beginning to see new possibilities for me, new openings, new outlooks. It's strange to think the world has opened up to me when only one door has closed; maybe that's a good reason why I had to close it in the first place. I have a lot of new decisions to make now, but they are more scary-exciting decisions and less scary-sad decisions.

Here's to another good week!

Confessions, rants, and a book.

2010-10-01T17:15:00.006-04:00

I'm just going to preface this by saying I'm really naive. Like the time I washed my brand new Target shirt (red) with everything else (not red) and all of my clothes turned red. And I was shocked.

Or how up until late high school/college, I wasn't exactly sure that dinosaurs were real. As in, I thought they were a fairy tale that parents told kids like The Old Woman in the Shoe or something. (To be honest, I still struggle with this idea.)

Anyway, I heard the most stupid thing yesterday in class. We were reading about feminist theory, and this guy goes, "I don't think women have anything else to write about now. I mean, hasn't what they set out to do been accomplished?"

The four women in the class looked like they were going to actually slap him.

I agree that women have come a long way, but I don't think we're done. Women around the world still need voices, and women even in America aren't fairly treated in some fields or relationships. The fact that he even thought that is enough reason to say feminism is still alive and kicking (and needs to be).

So there's my little rant. I know I'm naive, but I'm not that naive. (I hope)

So today ends Banned Book Week. We actually have a display of banned books in our library at ETSU. I think I'll read one this weekend. Looking at the list from 2009's most challenged books, I find a couple of books that I've really enjoyed and consider some of my favorite books (Perks of Being a Wallflower and My Sister's Keeper). How sad. It's amazing that people want to keep people from reading books. That thought amazes me to all ends. (Rant two. I'm done.)

I did finish reading Sophie Kinsella's new book Mini Shopaholic this week. If you haven't read the shopaholic series, I suggest you do. It's light, funny reading about a woman who loves to shop. (The movie doesn't do the book justice, by the way.) Anyway, this is the latest (#6) in the series. Becky has taken on motherhood! The addition of her daughter is comical; the little girl is a handful and seems to be turning into a little shopaholic herself! This book waivers from the others in that Becky doesn't shop so much. There is economic trouble in London, so she can't shop (as much). She spends the entire book planning a surprise birthday party for her husband-who-never-celebrates-birthdays on a budget and ends up getting help from an unusual source. Anyway, Kinsella sets up the end of this book for a sequel (yay!!), so I can only hope there will be more. My friend Katie bashes me for reading this series, but she understands the comfort that comes with a patterned book (she reads Nora Roberts). It's always nice to have expectations met when reading a novel.

Can't wait until the next one!

Snipet from my common place book.

2010-09-24T21:33:00.003-04:00

Around my sophomore year in college, a professor had us keep a common place book. It was a book of quotes from things that we had read in class with a couple of sentences about how we felt about it. Before I actually learned how to pull out quotes from a text, I didn't really think about quotes. I just assumed that teachers and scholars were the only people to know what's important and what should be pulled from context. Oh, was I so wrong.

Anyway, since then, I've kept a book of quotes--quotes from readings I had to read for school to things I just pick up and read for enjoyment. I have to say that I love reading something in a book and thinking, "This is awesome. This is exactly what I needed to hear." So, I write it down. And when I'm frustrated or frantic or frazzled, I go through my notebook and find something that settles me.

I'd like to share a few of my favorites with you.

"Words still count. They still break hearts, and heal them." (How I Became a Famous Novelist)

"Willow...I wanted to give you a prophecy to carry around with you, the name of a tree that bends instead of breaking." (Handle with Care)

"But love wasn't about sacrifice, and it wasn't about falling short of someone's expectations. By definition, love made you better than good enough; it redefined perfection to include your traits, instead of excluding them." (Handle with Care)

"Everyone has a broken heart...but it's a forgiving muscle." (Somebody Else's Daughter)

"Adversity is like a strong wind. I don't mean just that it holds us back from places we might otherwise go. It also tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that afterward we see ourselves we really are, and not merely as we might like to be." (Memoirs of a Geisha)

"You cannot take from me anything that I will not more willingly part withal--except my life, except my life, except my life." (Hamlet)

"But this too is true: stories can save us." (The Things They Carried)

I don't think there's a difference to me if I love a quote because it strikes a cord with my life or I love a quote because the author's words are beautiful and honest. I have to say that I probably favor the first quote the most, use it the most often, and think about it frequently.

What are some of your favorite quotes?

Another read.

2010-09-20T13:53:00.005-04:00

I spend about three hours a day reading. For school. So what do I do when I'm not reading for school? I read other things. My classmate calls it "sanity" reading. I totally agree. So, I stayed up about an hour later than usual last night and finished One Day by David Nicholls. This book actually came out this past June (amazing, I'm reading something from this year!!). This is how I summed up the book simply: It's 500 Days of Summer meets Ross and Rachel from Friends. Considering I love both, I also loved this book.

It's about two people Emma and Dexter. You meet them the night they graduate from college. They are somewhat friends, somewhat a hook-up-in-the-works, and somewhat awkward. Anyway, each chapter is exactly one year to the day that we meet them. We read about how their lives are going on at that point in the year, every year (for about eighteen years). They spend a lot of time a part, as friends, not as friends, hooking up with others, affairs, proposals, marriages, divorces, etc. You end up wanting them to get together. By the middle of the book, you are saying, "OH MY GOSH, YOU ARE AN IDIOT. GET WITH EMMA!" Or something equal to that. It's a cool idea, in my opinion--the whole year to year setting. I have to say, though, there is a really sad part. I became really invested in the characters (at a little over 400 pages, I find it hard not to be invested) and once the sad part came, I was notably upset. It was definitely a twist. Anyway, I loved the book. Read it!

I had to finish the book before today so that I could spend today reading for class because tomorrow Mini Shopaholic comes out!! It will be on my Kindle at 9AM and thus it will become my "sanity" reading for the week. I'm so excited!

Here's to a good week!

Busy, busy.

2010-09-17T10:36:00.002-04:00

This post is not about subbing. Do you know why?

Because I have absolutely no time to sub. Graduate school has stolen all my time and energy and warped my brain. Like right now? All I can think about are those books and articles laying on my floor (yes, mom, on the floor because, well, I'm still me) that need to be read and analyzed and somehow turned into a coherent paper that makes some kind of point.

Taking five graduate courses may not have been my best idea to date. But I will prevail! (I hope.)

I started my assistantship this week, so that's twenty hours (more or less) that I'm stuck between researching for two professors and tutoring undergrad freshman in the perks of comma usage (and not over-usage) or something equally mind numbing.

The good news is that I actually like my classes (save the 20th century British Lit), so I'm actually enjoying the semester. Yay!

Anddddd! My roommate is coming home on Sunday. I hope she remembers to bring my sanity. Can't wait!

Celebrate!

2010-09-09T21:16:00.002-04:00

Happy birthday to me! I am 23 today :)

Last year on my birthday, I became a substitute teacher.

This year, I woke up to my best friend calling me at 7:30AM and two text messages from friends wishing me happy birthday. My dad sent me an e-mail at 8:05. I had class at 10ish, lunch with another one of my besties at 11. Texts from both brothers, a phone call from my mom and at least fifteen Facebook notifications later, I had two other classes to attend. But someone brought cookies in honor of my birthday, so that made discussing Structuralism a little bit better. I came home to two birthday cards and a phone call from an old boss.

I love birthdays because it is such a great reminder of how many people care that you were born and who are happy that you were born. I love being loved.

I am twenty-three today and so very happy with my life.

Labor day readings.

2010-09-06T13:24:00.003-04:00

About a month ago, I finished a book titled Girls in Trouble by Caroline Leavitt. The book starts out with a sixteen year old girl, Sara, going into labor. Throughout the book, you find out about her relationship with the-wrong-side-of-the-rail-road-tracks Danny and how she became pregnant--and giving her baby up for adoption. What's interesting is that Sara picks an open adoption plan with couple George and Eva. While Sara is pregnant, the couple takes Sara in like one of their own. Sara thrives on this relationship, however, once the baby comes, the couple feels suffocated by Sara's presence in their lives. Once the couple tries to make boundaries with Sara, Sara feels rejected and kidnaps her (their) baby and runs away with it. She is caught and eventually the baby is returned to the adoptive parents. George and Eva move out of state, thus ending the open adoption, yet they live in fear that Sara will come back for their child one day. The novel goes on through Sara's life throughout college--how she fills the emptiness that giving away her child left and how she eventually does find her child again (when the child is a teen). The biological father, Danny, finds out about the child (his parents had shielded him from knowing or getting involved) and meets the child, too. With some drama involved, the five some eventually makes peace with each other and continues to have a good, if not irregular, relationship with one another--the novel ending at the child's high school graduation, all parents in scene.

Okay, that was a long description, but I don't know how else to describe the book. It was a good book and an interesting take on open adoption. Many people think adoption is an end all for the birth mothers (especially young mothers), but this novel shows the downfalls and high points of adoption. I thought it was interesting.

I just finished reading another book: Persepolis 2 by Marjane Satrapi. Obviously this is a sequel to the first book (Persepolis). Both books are graphic novels (she did the drawings!) and super easy to read and follow along with. We read the first book in a Literature for Adolescence class during undergrad. Most of us LOVED the first book. Generally speaking, the first book follows Marjane's life as a child during war times in Iran. You learn about how hard it was to be a woman (or anyone, really) in that time period with the extreme, radically "religious" rules and regulations. At the end of the first novel, Marjane's parents send her off to Vienna for a better life. This is where the second book picks up her story. I found this book to be more relateable because she is a student and my age in this book. She travels around some, though, eventually falls on hard times due to a relationship failure and depression. She eventually returns back home to Iran where life is not much different than when she left. She marries a man at twenty-one years old and soon finds out that this married life is not for her. Within three years, she takes a stand with her life and divorces her husband and moves to France.

That is a very simple description of the book, though. It is both educational and very interesting. Plus, it's a memoir (yay!) and the graphics are just awesome. Both of her books are relatively short, so I suggest you read both of them ASAP. There is also a movie, but I haven't watched it because I'm scared it will ruin the books for me.

Anyway, I've been reading Angela's Ashes for a few weeks now--I just can't seem to find the ending (or motivation because it's not really my style). Now that I've added on school reading, it's taking even longer!

I hope you all are having a wonderful Labor Day!

More eighth graders!

2010-09-03T16:08:00.003-04:00

I subbed a half day today in another eighth grade English class. This teacher is a traveling teacher, so I had to wheel her cart around to the different rooms. Since it was a PM half day, she was there to go over whatever she wanted me to do. I got super excited when I saw she had them diagramming sentences because I love to do it (and we are doing it in one my classes this semester, too).

Anyway, I only had two classes. The students had a quiz and a journal and some reading. Not bad. I let them talk after they finished their work because it's Friday before a three day weekend and apparently they had a huge football game tonight--the first one at the brand new stadium. They were good students. The second class was in the same classroom I subbed in last time, so I said hello to that teacher and told her how I enjoyed her classes. She stayed in the classroom most of the period grading papers. These students were even more well-behaved than the last class. It was great!

After the final bell rang, the teacher told me that I did amazing with them and she hardly ever hears of people who like to sub eighth grade and will I sub for her on the 15th? It's nice to hear encouragement every now in then in a job where you usually become a vanishing act once the day is over.

Another plus? I read in entirety O'Neill's Emperor Jones today while I was subbing. Awesome.

Job Security.

2010-09-01T20:32:00.003-04:00

"It is no exaggeration to say that the very survival of civilization depends on the preservation of words. If somehow all memory of language were to be irretrievably lost overnight, the next morning people the world over would have to start anew, literally rebuilding knowledge with new words." (Dansei)

If I ever think that what I'm studying or what I'm doing with my life is not important enough, I need to read this quote.

Rant.

2010-08-31T11:15:00.003-04:00

If I hear any of these things again, I will physically (or virtually) slap the person who says them:

"Teaching is different than my job. You get summers off and vacations during the year. It's easy." My response? If you think a teacher's job is so easy, you should have become one. It's not my fault your schedule is different than mine. If you think being a teacher is a cushy life because we get summers off and Christmas break, then you should sign up for the job. Not your style? Then shut up.

"Anyone can do your job, Tiffany. No one can do what I do." To an extent, this is true. Target can hire another cashier; the next person on the sub list will get the open job; a new student will take my GA position. But you know what won't happen? My bills being paid. Flexibility in a job does NOT mean it is easier than yours. I work my butt off to make sure I'm doing what I want with my life. Just because I know how to arrange my life and my schedule to fit whatever I want in does NOT mean that I'm replaceable. It means I'm smart. Maybe you should take notes. As for the second part? Everyone has a boss. Unless you OWN the business you're working for, that statement is never true. Don't flatter yourself by trying to put me down.

"I can't." No. You CAN. It's what you decide that's important is whether or not you can or can't. What is important to you? I understand a job is important. But what I also understand at the end of the day is that a job is a job is a job. It's up to you to decide that your job takes over your whole life. If you'd rather work than spend time developing your relationships, then so be it. But when that job kicks you out for messing up, you will have a very lonely life to come home to. I understand commitment to a job, but what I don't understand is the excessive amount of yourself you give to it without regard for other people or interests in your life.

I love what I do. I actually love it. I love reading and writing and teaching and learning. It is my career and my hobby. But you know what else I love? My family and my friends. I love to sit at home some days and do nothing but watch reality TV that I hate. I like to watch an entire season of Friends on DVD. I like to go to the library and pick out a book that has nothing to do with anything I'm studying and read it. I like to make road trips and future plans. I like to know that when I leave my responsibilities at the end of the day, I have something to go home to that I love, too. I nurture the other side of my life. It's a balancing act. Yours? Fail.

The end.

A long Friday.

2010-08-28T12:56:00.003-04:00

Yesterday I subbed for an elementary resource teacher. I like picking up classes like these in elementary schools because I know the class size will be super small and more manageable (because everyone knows I'm not good with small children). On the other hand, though, this means I'm also with students who need extra help (obviously, duh), so individually speaking, they are more work, but I like those odds better than twenty five seven-year-olds any day.

I had different groups of students every thirty minutes who have special needs in math and reading. The teacher left really organized plans, so that helped the day run smoothly. I had one student with such a bad attitude, though! I had her twice (for math and reading help) and she just refused to do any work. The classroom teacher has a "gem" reward system (the more good choices you make, the more gems, and eventually, a prize), so she earned no gems. She said, "I don't care. Take all of them away!" Geez. Another student told me she's always in a bad mood like that. I wonder what's going on with her.

Anyway, the last hour of the day was devoted to a fundraiser kick-off (selling cookie dough!). The kids just scream and scream and clap and clap. Luckily, I didn't have to monitor them during the program, so I just helped out in the office instead, but I could hear them! It reminds me of when we did fundraisers selling wrapping paper at our school. They always did such a big show to get everyone excited and show off all the "cool" prizes you can win if you sell anything. I never participated in those things, but I do remember other people really getting into it.

After I left the school, I went over to Target and worked a five and half hour shift. It was a long day yesterday!

Schools starts back for me this week (on Tuesday), so I don't know how much subbing I will be getting in this semester once my GA starts (in a week or so). I am taking the max credit hours possible this semester, so I will be SUPER busy with school work, too. While I like subbing, it looks as if it's going on the back burner for a couple of months while I get some school work done. But I'll still be blogging about everything, though!

I hope everyone has a great weekend!

I'm not sorry.

2010-08-24T10:33:00.003-04:00

I am harsh. I say exactly what I want to say when I want to say it. I don't think about your feelings; I say the truth. I don't filter. I don't smudge. I don't sugar-coat. I don't sacrifice my feelings for yours. If it needs to be said, I will say it.

That being said, I also take a lot of consequences. But I do not apologize for things I mean. I do not apologize for saying what needed to be said. If that bothers you, then you shouldn't be involved with me.

I am not always right in the end. That is true. Sometimes I have to admit that my actions were over-dramatic or uncalled for. Sometimes I have to apologize because I was wrong. Sometimes I act on emotions. Sometimes I apologize for that. Sometimes I don't. Just because I feel a certain way doesn't make it wrong.

I think Marilyn Monroe said it best: "I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

Desert Island.

2010-08-21T13:54:00.007-04:00

I think I'm playing the Desert Island game with Echo, but I'm not quite sure why. (You know, if you could pick only three items to take with you to a desert island, what would you take?) I have found the following items on my shoes; I think these are her choices:

String.

Wood.

A shoe.

Now, the string and wood are acceptable things to take with you to a desert island (I guess), but the whole shoe thing?

Seriously, I think my cat is a weirdo and I don't know why she keeps bringing me random things from the apartment and laying them on top of my shoes. Andddddd--I don't know where she got that piece of wood.

I miss my roomie, but at least the cat is a good source of entertainment.

Eighth graders are... nice?

2010-08-18T22:35:00.002-04:00

I think teens kind of get a bad rep. I mean early teenagers--13, 14, and 15 year olds. Every time I sub for 7th or 8th grade, I have a pretty good day. Yesterday I subbed for an eighth grade English class (right across the hall from last year's English class with angels). Plans were clear--she had a few different things for them to do and guess what? They did it. The class after lunch was a bit chatty, but really, I cannot complain. With over twenty-four students in each class, I'm surprised at how well-behaved and focused the students are. Plus, it IS the beginning of the school year, so that's always a plus.

I have to say, it was almost a culture shock being in this classroom after being at the ALC. There were LOTS more students and a lot more work and a lot more working going on. It's crazy. I sat there for a while and just thought about where students veer off this path and end up like some of the students I dealt with last semester. What happens? Or what doesn't happen? Or is it anything at all?

A woman I work with at Target (who also works at JC Schools) told me they have had at least five suspensions already! Can you believe that? And that's only in special education. Geez. Seems a bit crazy.

I'll be back to the ALC on Friday for a half-day in the ISS (In School Suspension) room. Woohoo! I really do miss those kids.

Oh, life.

2010-08-16T19:30:00.003-04:00

My cat doesn't like me anymore.

I have curls now and she will not come to me unless I put my hair up in a bun. It's like she hates curls. I didn't think she would care if I didn't consult her on a hair style, but apparently, I have the most sensitive cat in the whole world. (But to be fair, my mom said that I did this to her when I was really young and she got her hair permed. Maybe it's karma.)

Weird.

Anyway, I have my first sub job of the school year tomorrow! It's for English. I like to start the year off with an English gig. My first sub job last year was for English. It's weird to think that it's been almost a year since I started subbing. I'd like to say that I've made some huge strides towards either getting a job or securing my place in the world of education, but that's not true. I have learned quite a bit about teaching, what I want my class to be like, what I don't want my class to be like, and how much work teaching is, and, of course, how much I love it. I think it is a fair statement to say that substituting is one of the best ways to familiarize yourself with teaching without being thrown in head first (because in essence, we are thrown in head first every single day we sub).

So to all of us subs, here's to another year, hopefully filled with well-laid lesson plans!

Only a couple of weeks left until ETSU starts, so I'm enjoying what time I have left by doing absolutely nothing. I did read a book a few weeks ago, so I'll review it soon!

Really?

2010-08-10T14:53:00.003-04:00

It's almost unbelievable.

Missing teaching.

2010-08-09T11:57:00.003-04:00

I was awoken this morning at 7:30AM by the substituting place calling. Guess who they needed a sub for?

My old interim job: English at the ALC.

That's right. They don't have a permanent teacher. As a matter of fact, they just posted the opening for the position the DAY BEFORE SCHOOL STARTED. Can you believe that? Now these kids are going to start school with a substitute until they hire another interim. I can't believe their such poor planning. If they would have posted the job early in the summer, I would have considered applying for it, but I'm already under contract with ETSU for my graduate assistantship now.

I didn't take the sub job for two reasons: One, class started in fifteen minutes from the minute I got the call and two, I already have to work at Target today.

This weekend while working at Target, I saw a teacher from the ALC. She said she and another teacher were asking about me last week--about where I was. It made me sad. I miss them. I miss the students and teaching. I know I have the rest of my life to start a career and logically speaking, I know finishing graduate school this year is my best bet, but I can't help but miss teaching. I told her if they need a long term sub until the end of August, I would be more than willing to do it.

Last night, a family came through my line at Target and the little girls started talking. They had recognized me from subbing at their school (where I learned about The Best Game Ever). I was surprised she remembered me since it's been six months, but I guess that's good? Anyway, what was funny was that she said to her sister, "She was the skinny woman, remember?"

Awesome. I guess "skinny" is better than a LOT of other adjectives she could have said.

Here's to the beginning of another school year!

Back to it.

2010-08-04T20:51:00.003-04:00

Yesterday was my first day back at work at Target. I came back at my favorite time of year to work: back to school! I mean it. I love back to school. I love new supplies, and notebooks, markers, crayons, paints, and all that jazz. I've always loved getting ready for the new school year and that's transferred over to my cashiering job. I always ask people what grades their kids are going into, how many kids they have in school, blahblahblah. It really brings out the good side of me.

What makes me laugh, though, are the people who buy everything before school starts. I get it--you need school supplies. But I doubt you're going to need EIGHT super huge glue sticks on the first day of school along with twenty boxes of markers. I'm just sayin'. You could probably do that some time in the next week. Or when you get specific school supplies lists. Or, like on tax-free weekend (this weekend in Tennessee) so you don't spend an arm and a leg on pencils. But it's whatever. More power to you, super-supply-shopper.

Besides school supplies shopping people, I also love working in retail during the holidays. I love long lines. It makes me happy to see lots and lots of people needing to be checked out. I also love shopping during the holidays and standing in long lines. I don't know why, but I do.

The holiday I hate most, for retail sake? Halloween. I just don't like cashiering during Halloween time. It's all the same. Candy, candy, candy. I judge you if you buy three bags of Double Bubble. I really do. Though, I admit it, I gave out candy I hated this year (along with some of Hersey's finest). I just don't like seeing costumes and candy all day. It's boring. (And kind of creepy because I don't like scary things. At all.) I'd much rather wrap your $13 "priceless" ornament and bag it than scan twenty bags of Tootsie Rolls any day.

What's your favorite holiday to shop for?

How I lost my gas cap and almost killed my cat.

2010-08-02T21:11:00.004-04:00

I drove back to JC yesterday. I brought Echo, my kitty, back with me (she had been living with Ronald). It's an eight hour car ride from Memphis to here. Also, in case you're living indoors, it's summer. It's like 1000 degrees outside.

I would never think of traveling with an animal in the sweltering heat had I not gotten my AC fixed. The Volvo now has air, so I was looking forward to the drive. I would finally be able to breathe and drive at the same time! Bring it on!

Have you ever traveled with a cat? You shouldn't. Echo wouldn't take the sleepy medicine the vet recommended, so she was awake the whole time. I had her riding in the passenger seat with me when we left Memphis, but about an hour out, I couldn't take her meowing. So I put her in the back of the wagon. I let her out of the kennel and let her free roam the back. It was practically a studio suite back there! I felt like the most awesome pet owner ever. I gave the kitty an apartment.

She still meowed some, but the radio could deafen the noise much better with her in the back. I stopped about three hours into the drive and got gas and gave her some water. Me = awesome at pet ownership.

About two hours after that, I stopped again. This time, Echo was panting kind of heavily. I was really confused because hello? She has water. Why isn't she drinking it if she's hot? But she was still being super sweet and lovey, so I assumed nothing was wrong with her. I figured if she got hot enough, she would tell me. Right? I mean, she would do something to let me know there is something wrong.

An hour later, I started feeling kind of guilty about not taking her heavy panting seriously. I pulled over and put her in the passenger seat. I figured maybe she would like to be closer to the air (and me!). She did not want either of those things. I pumped gas and put her back in her little studio and off I went. Have whatever you want, kitty!

She started being really quiet, so I figured she was sleeping. This would be the part where I wish she would have crawled up to the front of the Volvo, tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Look, I know you think this studio is AWESOME, but there's not AC back there and I'm dying."

Finally, I had this overwhelming feeling like, hey, I bet the back of this car (aka what would be a TRUNK) doesn't get AC. She's probably SUPER hot and dehydrated (you know, like I was before I got AC). I pull over (once more!) and put her in her kennel and put her up front with me and let all the fans blow on her. She finally stopped panting. And she was quiet, too.

During this last stop, as I was bringing her to the passenger seat, I found out that I lost my gas cap. I was so worried about Echo, that I forgot to put the gas cap back on! Awesome. I didn't want to stop again, so I just drove the rest of the way without a gas cap. I almost Googled "what does a gas cap do," but I didn't because I didn't want to know the repercussions because I didn't want to stop. Turns out, it doesn't seem that important. (By the way, where can you buy a gas cap?)

Anyway, we're both here now--all safe and sound!

(I'm alive!)

Another read.

2010-07-24T12:34:00.003-04:00

Since the last book I read was a total bust, I decided to go with a book recommended by Jen Lancaster (we're so totally almost BFF by now since I follow her blog and read all of her books). I figure I like Jen's writing, so I will like what she reads.

Anyway, she recommended Not Ready for Mom Jeans by Maureen Lipinski in her summer reading list. It's actually a sequel to Lipinkski's other book A Bump in the Road, but I didn't read that one. The novel is about a twenty-nine year old woman who's life has been turned upside down by her newborn baby. She has to adjust everything in her life to this new little person--like trying to manage sleep, work at a full time job, connections to family and friends, and breathing. The book is well written. It's funny and light-hearted; ends happily. I'd read the third installment if she were to write one.

The only thing about this book is that about 60% of the way through, I was thinking: OMG I am NEVER having children!!! (Not news, exactly. I've posted on it before here and here.) This woman is sleep deprived every single day, feels guilty every single day for having to drop her baby off at work, can't concentrate while at work, comes home to her baby, can't go out with friends anymore, can't talk about anything else anymore and pretty much has her life revolving around this little person. There is no way I would ever want that. I barely got up this morning in time to give the cat her meds. She seemed miserable in the novel. It's like birth control in a binding.

That said, I did enjoy the book. And parenting is not for everyone, so read it for your own conclusions about the main character's state of happiness. Or just read it for fun!

I'm onto another book soon, I hope! Maybe a memoir. Or some more chick-lit? Probably. Don't judge me! It's summer!

Randomness.

2010-07-22T16:18:00.003-04:00

Only nine more days in Memphis until I am back to life in JC, gearing up for a full load of graduate courses and (hopefully) more substituting adventures and Target shifts. I say hopefully subbing because right now, I'm still in the system as an interim teacher and I'm not so sure how to tell them that I want to be put back on the sub list because they won't answer my phone calls. That's OK. In nine days, I will just bust in the door of main building and ask questions in person. It's hard to ignore someone standing in your office. Not entirely impossible, but less likely.

While summer at home has been very relaxing, I'm ready to head back. I'm used to working and being busy. It's just my nature to have a million things to do in one day. I miss it. Don't quote me on this later.

Because I find Dan Brown's style of writing incredibly boring, I haven't even picked up Angels and Demons again since a few weeks ago. I've been reading short stories by Fitzgerald and some poetry in order to convince myself that I won't bomb the MA exam in May. Anyway, on the side, I did read a different book: We Thought You'd Be Prettier by Laurie Notaro. She's supposedly a very funny writer--telling funny stories about her life. I read rave reviews on Amazon, so I said, "Sure! Sounds like summer reading fun! Thanks for the recommendation, Amazon!" The first half of the book is funny, but the second half is not. (Wonder if I can return half of the novel to Amazon and get $4.50 back?) Maybe it's because I didn't read her other books first, but I just didn't find her stories that funny. Darn it!

That's okay, I only lost like half a day out of my life due to this book. It's still better than this book (the second one on that post; not the first) I reviewed a while back that really puts chick-lit to shame. I'm on to something better now, so I'll review that later for you all.

I am stalking my own cat at the moment because she just had surgery (no babies!) and she insists on licking her wound (which is the ONLY thing the doctor said she shouldn't do). She's pretty sly because when I catch her doing it, she stops and walks off into another room and lays down. Then I hear her little bell jingle and catch her again. I'm not really sure of the exact repercussions of her licking this wound, but I'm four hours into stalking her and I'm not sure I'm going to do this for the next nine days because it's really boring and useless. No matter how hard I try, I cannot fit underneath the bed and she can. She wins.

I'm never having children.

(and neither is my cat!)

Why I Am Getting Kicked Out of Tennessee (or quite possibly, the South)

2010-07-16T16:29:00.003-04:00

1. I hate sweet tea. I think Southerners spend at least five years of their life in a drive-thru line waiting for a large sweet tea. I can't do it.

(Water with sugar, anyone?)

2. I don't care about the Vols. There. I said it. The Vols are the reason I didn't even consider going to UT Knoxville even though I probably would have had a free ride there, too. Not only do people migrate to Knoxville on game day like it's Mecca, but they wear that "orange" color. You know what kind of volunteers wear that color orange? Prison inmates, that's who. So, no. I don't follow the Vols (or any sport).

(Gag.)

3. I don't worship Elvis. My mom's cat is named after Elvis. People spend DAYS during Elvis Week standing outside in 100 degree temperatures (near death) to see his house. Then, these people start a candlelight vigil (in the desert-like heat) to honor a guy who died on a toilet. It's too much. Did you know you can't even go all the way through Elvis' house? Nope. I like a couple of his songs, but I'm not so dedicated that I will risk my life to honor his.

(Return to Sender....through heatstroke.)

4. I have never eaten grits. Actually, I'm not even sure what they are. I found this picture when I googled "grits," so I assume they look like this. This is the actual description the photo gave of grits: "The perfect bowl of grits is a lot like a bowl of melted butter with stuff inside it. That stuff is grits." So, in my mind, I'd rather just have buttered popcorn because this does not look appetizing. At all.

(does anyone have popcorn instead?)

5. Southern Movie Favorites Suck. As in, I don't even have the patience to think about watching them. Gone with the Wind, To Kill a Mockingbird? Blahh. Fried Green Tomatoes? I read the book and I didn't like it. I guess I don't have that Southern DNA strand that makes people flock to really, really boring story lines.

(Apparently this is the only image from Gone with the Wind)

What do you like about the South?

Modern day classics.

2010-07-13T09:08:00.007-04:00

Proof I'm putting my summer to good use: practicing for my MA exam.

You know in The Awakening at the end when Edna undresses and walks out into the sea? Sure, she's showing her independence and taking control of her life. But in a modern view, one might wonder this: I bet she got bitten by a LOT of bugs on the way into the sea. See, the other night, the neighbors knocked on our door to ask about some kind of tick they found in their bed. (Apparently, it's okay to ask strangers these kinds of questions at eleven o'clock at night on a Saturday on your one year anniversary.) Anyway, Ronald opened the door to talk to them for about fifteen minutes and now there are like a gazillion mosquitoes in the apartment waiting for me to fall asleep so they can bite me on the bottom of my foot again. So I'm pretty sure Edna was bitten by a LOT of somethings in her naked walk to the sea if I'm being bitten because of Tick-Questioning Neighbors' fifteen-minute-open-door conversation. (Happy one year, Neighbors!)

Also, in A Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, Douglass learns how to read on the sly. See, at first he was being taught and then his owner decided that it was no good. So Douglass learned how to read from little white boys every chance he could get even though it was pretty much illegal and could really get him into trouble. This is almost exactly like a few weeks ago when my roommate was doing laundry at the little laundry mat in our complex. When she went back to get her clothes, though, the door was locked. She didn't have her key, so she called maintenance. Maintenance said it wasn't an emergency, so they wouldn't come out. So, she got a hammer and broke the door knob and got her clothes out of the dryer even though it's (probably) illegal and she could have gotten into trouble. See how that's the same? And in even more likeness, Douglass got his freedom in the end and my roommate got her clothes back. It's almost exactly the same!

Lastly, Anne Bradstreet writes a lot of poetry about her family, specifically her children. She writes one poem comparing her children to birds--about how the mother raises them and they eventually fly off to a live of their own. Well, Bradstreet would appreciate the iPhone game Angry Birds. The gist of the game is that the birds' eggs have been stolen by these evil pigs, thus a war ensues between the two animals. The birds will do anything to get their babies back (like be catapulted into wood and glass in order to kill the pigs--for more than 42 levels!)--a theme that also occurs in Bradstreet's poetry. If Bradstreet was smart, though, she would charge .99 for people to help her get her babies back like the birds did. Make a profit and save your family; a modern day Bradstreet I'd say.

In conclusion, if you don't want to give me my MA, I understand. But please don't take away my bachelor's degree. Or my iPhone.

(I blame Apple if I don't pass my MA Exam)

The 5th of July.

2010-07-05T21:30:00.005-04:00

Since I'm spending the summer in Memphis, I have been able to spend more time with my family. And if you're thinking, "Oh, great, another post about family," then you're absolutely right because I usually only get to see my family four or five times a YEAR, so I'm enjoying this summer treat. Deal.

We celebrated July 4th today because we think America is just SO awesome that it needs at least a three day weekend to fully appreciate its awesomeness (or we're all so lazy that it took three days to plan a family event). My nephew is staying with his dad (my oldest brother) at my parents' house, so it's always an adventure when I visit them. It's constant, "Will you do this?" or "Can I do this?" or "Will you watch me do this?" He's six, so he's at that age of constant worrisome that, I bet my parents will attest to, never actually stops. I'm actually really bad at pretty much everything my nephew likes to do, but what makes it even better is that his dad loves to point out my FAIL every chance he can. I love being taunted by a six year old AND a twenty-six year old. Awesome.

In all fairness, I actually do love spending time with my family because they are the only people in the world who have to open the door and let me inside because it's FAMILY and you can't turn FAMILY away. Though sometimes I bet my parents turn off the lights when they see any of our cars pull into the driveway and pretend they aren't home. Because let's face it, it's FAMILY.

Or in the case of today, our neighbors were the ones who pretended not to be home when we knocked on the door to try to retrieve the frisbee off their roof. Maybe they were just treating us like family?

I kid, I kid. I love them :) (my family, not the neighbors--those antisocial freaks)

My nephew in his nearly constant state of attack-mode
<3

Thirty on the thirtieth.

2010-06-30T19:17:00.000-04:00

While the boyfriend fights zombies or aliens or clowns, I decided to take advantage of his iPhone capabilities to blog. Since nothing is exciting in my life at the moment, I thought I'd take the time to try to recall thirty things about my childhood--this is a daunting task as I remember very little from before I turned nine-ish. Enjoy!

1. My family used to live in a duplex. When we moved out and came back for the cats, someone had broken in and drawn Fred Flinstone on the wall.
2. My first job was working at Chickfila when I was fifteen. I loved working there! And I still love eating there.
3. I had glow in the dark butterflies on the ceiling in my room. They looked cool with my blacklight, too.
4. I ran into a doorknob chasing my brother. He can tell you a longer, detailed version if you want.
5. I don't even remember caring or noticing grades in school until eighth grade when a friend of mine made all A's.
6. The only D I ever made was in Spelling.
7. I remember doing fireworks at our duplex once and being super scared. I'm not so much on the fireworks nowadays.
8. On the 4th of July one year, I fell down our back porch steps. Like all of them. I had a huge bruise on my side for a long time.
9. When I was six or seven, I always wanted to sleep in my brothers' room.
10. My kitty Cinny was born under my dresser when I was six-ish. She was the best cat ever!
11. Sleeping over at my friends' houses always made me a little uncomfortable because I wouldn't know when to leave in the morning.
12. I spent a summer trying to learn how to swim with my friend at the Y. I did not catch on.
13. Our old family dog loved to eat hot dogs.
14. I play pool left handed.
15. During the summers when my parents were at work, we would order pizza and have lots of friends over. They would usually leave right before my parents pulled up.
16. My girl friends and I would make videos. We would remake commercials. My parents would probably love to show you them.
17. My first kiss was at the fair.
18. I loved, loved, loved 101 Dalmations.
19. I had books ontop of books for The Little Mermaid. (I don't remember either of those movies, though)
20. I was a Babysitter's Club member. Read the books. Never once babysat in my life longer than ten minutes.
21. My parents owned a small business for a little while. I thought making business cards was THE coolest thing ever.
22. I painted my window sill with nail polish. (sorry, mom)
23. I never snuck out of my parents' house.
24. When my brothers would jump on the trampoline with me, they always double bounced me!
25. I really liked to stay home and on more than one occassion, I told my friends my parents wouldn't let me go out so I could stay in with my parents. (Lameness starts early!)
26. I had an aromatherapy alarm clock. It was just as awesome as it sounds.
27. I played Donkey Kong on Super Nintendo like it was my mission in life to beat it.
28. My family would sometimes break out the NES to beat Mario 3. It usually took two days.
29. My first vacation was with my grandparents. We went to Silver Dollar City.
30. I went to band camp for a few weeks one summer, too

Writing this list reaffirms why I'm the way I am...my childhood ROCKED! And now you all know a little about me.

:)

My take on the summer solstice.

2010-06-23T09:12:00.004-04:00

Dear Summer,

Please leave. I can't stand you anymore. I know you're going to say you just arrived this week, but I know better. You've been lingering in triple-digit heat indexes for weeks now. Don't lie.

You were good for a while. But this doesn't make sense anymore. I know lots of people love you. You should be with one of them. Maybe someone who knows how to swim? Or someone with working AC in her car? We're just not a good match.

To be frank, I'm in love with winter.

You should move to Florida.

It's over between us, Summer.

Always,
Tiffany

Ahhhh, angels!

2010-06-18T12:38:00.006-04:00

I have been reading selections of my MA list recently. And even though reading about the horrible conditions of slavery is SO much fun, I have also picked up a book to read on the side (you know, in case I start crying and need a break). What's more interesting is the book I'm reading: Angels and Demons by Dan Brown.

See, Ronald has been bugging me for YEARS to read this book. I haven't because of the title--Angels and Demons. I am scared of angels (and probably demons). I can't stand to think/read/write about them. It freaks me out. (See my Lovely Bone post) I read a book sent from Reader's Digest once called Sundays at Tiffany's (yes, I did pick it up because it had my name in the title. Don't judge me!). Little did I know that it was about an girl who pretty much falls in love with this angel. Ahhhh, it creeped me out. I don't care that this angel was helpful. It's just creepy. People should be either alive or dead. Not inbetween. Peony in Love by Lisa See? She just kills off the main character part way through the novel and keeps the story going in her afterlife. I did NOT expect that because I just loved her other book (Snowflower and the Secret Fan) and it did not have any angels in it whatsoever. You're sly, Lisa See.

To be fair, Peony in Love was a good book. Sunday at Tiffany's? BLAH.

Anyway, Ronald informed me that Dan Brown's book does not contain angles or demons, so I'm all good. I'll review it once I'm finished.

I miss working. I feel like such a bum and my bank account keeps laughing at me. I would not make a good housewife. It's just not my thing.

Why is summer so long? It's literally 107 degrees here. Inside my Volvo? It's probably 130 degrees. Winter should start in August, thus making July Autumn. I'm just sayin'. Something to think about. Maybe if I'm lucky, all the oil in the ocean will mess up weather patterns and it'll snow next month!

Or you know, I'll just stay inside.

Mobile blogging.

2010-06-11T16:36:00.002-04:00

I'm trying out this new mobile blogging, so bear with me if my posts aren't exactly perfect.

I finished reading Husband and Wife (links to the book and interview with the author are in my last post). I enjoyed the book. It's about Sarah, a woman/poet who is devasted to learn that her husband had an affair a year earlier. Her life spins out of control for a few weeks-she stops going to work, she becomes vulnerable to other men, and insomnia stifles her nights. I think I would have reacted the same exact way she did. Her feelings seem spot on. Though I enjoyed the book and did connect with the main character, I felt the ending wasn't enough. (Ronald tells me I say that about every book. It's probably true. I hardly ever enjoy a book's ending. I want them to last forever!)

I'll probably read another book by Leah Stewart. I like her writing style.

I finally started on my reading list. See? I told you I'd get to it.

Happy Friday, everyone!

Lazy, lazy summer days.

2010-06-09T18:52:00.002-04:00

I'm in the midst of reading Husband and Wife by Leah Stewart. I heard about this book from Rebecca where she did an interview with the author on her blog. If you're looking for a new author, you should follow her blog because she does some great interviews with new authors (and giveaways, too!). I love to find a new read and I'm really enjoying this book, too. Review will come later!

I'm over at my parents' house. We're grilling out which is my favorite thing to do! I pretty much associate summer to grilling out. So I'm always a happy camper when I come over and they have something on the grill for dinner. Yum!

I've been writing some, though, not as much as I would like. I'm in this crazy place where all I can seem to do is sleep all day long. I figured with so much time, I'd be getting at least something done, but I'm really not. I'm in a summer slump. All I want to do is laze around, sleep on and off all day, read for enjoyment until I fall back asleep, cook dinner, watch Friends with Ronald, and go to bed. I sound so pathetic, don't I? But really, I will make myself do SOMETHING. Soon.

I figure I can be a lazy bum until tomorrow. It's still early summer. I have plenty of time... right?

For now? I'm learning how to start the grill :) The learning never stops for me!

MIA.

2010-06-04T15:43:00.002-04:00

Actually, I'm not really sure I can be considered "missing in action" as "action" isn't really the word. More like relaxation.

Bear with me this summer. I am staying with Ronald and he lives in a world without internet (or cable TV), so I have no way to post unless I am at my parents' house or somewhere where I can steal a WiFi signal. No worries, though, you haven't missed too much. (And I'm still reading you all's blogs on the go--thank you Google Reader on my phone!)

Being home is great! I am doing nothing and only feel like I am completely useless 20% of the day. That percentage is surely to rise before August. So far, though, I'm good. I have spent some time writing and no time reading. I'm going to get on that (promise!).

I got the job for the Graduate Assistantship. Woohoo! I will have my MA paid for by working in the Writing Center/English department.

I have spent the last week arguing with my apartment complex about my lease. Who knew it was so much trouble to tell people that YES I DO want to live in this apartment next year. Yes, I DID pay my rent every month on time. Yes I AM a good tenant. Why are you kicking me out?! What?! Oh, no no no no. I have had to pull legalities out. Hopefully the problem will be solved now. There is much more to this story, but I'm so tired of hearing it that I don't even want to type it.

This will probably be my last summer of being a student. And I'm totally going to act like it, too.

Happy summering, all! I'll write some much more interesting next time. ...I hope!

Options.

2010-05-27T21:21:00.002-04:00

Today was the students' last full day. I brought cupcakes and cookies for my classes while we watched a movie. It was a good day. Easy-peasy. Somehow I ended up with six extra students in my last period class. Apparently word spread about me showing a good movie, so students wanted to watch it. I let them. Why not?

JC Schools has two eighth grade English positions open right now. I think I'm going to apply for them both. I know I had planned on finishing my MA next year, but I just can't let these opportunities pass me. I at least have to apply.

Also? When I was leaving today, the assistant principal asked me if I would be interested in the position next fall if the regular teacher doesn't return. I told her it would definitely be something I would consider. I'm going to leave my name and number with her tomorrow so she will have it in case something does come up.

I have a job interview tomorrow for a Graduate Assistantship at the Writing Center at ETSU. If I get this position that means that I'll have my MA paid for next year because I'll be working for the school. That's if I do the MA program.

I have so many options right now. I am going to apply for the English positions and keep my interview with the Writing Center. Just in case nothing pans out in the way of teaching jobs, I want to still have my graduate school option.

I'm excited about what's going to come of everything. Whatever happens, I know I'll be happy.

Tomorrow is a half day. My classroom is nearly empty. My suitcases are packed. Apartment cleaned. I'm ready for summer break!

The girl who cried, "Book!"

2010-05-26T09:50:00.004-04:00

While I sometimes tell people, "I like to write," I don't really have a routine of writing. It comes and goes with inspiration, time management, and quite frankly, effort level. It's easy for me to write poetry. I probably have over two hundred poems stashed away in notebook pages, Word documents, and blogs. When I die, people are going to say, "Man, she wrote a lot of poetry, huh?"

I have great ideas. Sometimes I'll write out a few pages and then lose the story line. I've plotted out a novel--telling myself what's going to happen when. But once I did that, I kind of lost interest in the story. I've done a few scenes on a different, bizarre story line. I could think of a series for it, but I haven't even written anything since that first scene. And I also started this heartbreaking story, but I just kind of lost my character. I couldn't hear her anymore.

So it is with great pleasure that I can say this: I have a good start on a story. Last night this idea came to me and I just started typing away. (This is the first time I've ever typed a rough draft.) By the end of the night, I had developed a somewhat interesting plot line, three main characters, their relationships with each other, and a plot line I wanted to follow. I wrote nearly 3,000 words. I've never written that much before last night. It's a YA novel, so I know I have about 11 times that amount to go, but I think I can do this. I'm going to have the next two months free (except all that MA reading...), so I am determined to have a finished draft by August. I can see these characters. They each have their own voice that I know.

I feel good.

Out of the mouth of babes.

2010-05-25T15:53:00.002-04:00

Students came into my first period class. As I start to explain how we're going to work on a study guide for the exam tomorrow, I have this conversation with a student:

Student: Wait. Yesterday you said we weren't going to do any more work.
Me: Yesterday I said that was our last daily grade. We still have the final exam tomorrow.
Student: What? I didn't know about that.
Me: It's been on the board for over a week now. I also told you about it multiple times.
Student: No one looks at the board!

Really?

Later today, a student was playing a game on the computer (during free time). It was a weird game. The colors were really out there. Then this student said:

Student: I bet this would be fun if you were drunk.

Errrrr... really? You're sixteen! Geez.

I've spent most of the day reviewing with the students and trying to get grades in order. Teaching should not involve this much math!! I am math-ed out. With percentages and adding and students turning in work and re-adding and new percents, I'm tired. I'm sure there is an easier way to do this, but I don't really have the time to set up an Excel spreadsheet to fit my percentage needs, so I'm doing most of it the old fashioned way (read: with a calculator). Luckily I have most it set up so all I have to do now is enter final exam grades.

What's great is that I have to enter final grades for the semester. This means that I need grades from last nine weeks. Guess what I don't have?! Yeah, their grades from last nine weeks. They looked up the grades for me, but they only had letter grades. How exactly do I average a 79 with a B? Calculators and Excel spreadsheets can't do that!

I'll come up with something.

Only a few days! I decided on The Blindside for my classes to watch. Technically, it's a book. It's rated PG-13 and has pretty good themes throughout it. If anyone can relate to this kind of movie, it's probably these kids.

I've decided. I'm going to really miss them. And teaching.

Lazy day.

2010-05-24T19:31:00.002-04:00

Only four and a half days this week. Then summer break. I can hardly believe it!

This week is going to be easy. I assigned my last assignment today. Tomorrow is review for the final, Wednesday is the final, and Thursday and Friday are going to be movie days. I wasn't really feeling well today, so it was an even easier day for the students. I know, I know. That's probably not right to give them an easy day just because I don't feel well, but I did. So there.

We have a night school program at the ALC. Some students go to night school for various reasons. I have two students in night school. I send them their work every day and whenever they finish assignments, I receive them in my mailbox. Easy, right? Well, apparently I have a secret student. Actually, two secret students. One of them used to be in my last period class. The other English teacher pretty much took over her assignments. I don't know why. So, I figured she was in charge of her grade. Then, last week I received papers from her in my mailbox. I'm like ummm okay. I grade them. Today she comes in my class and asks me about her grade. I'm thinking what?! I only have five assignments from you. She says the other English teacher said I'm in charge of her grade. If that was true, maybe that English teacher should have let me assign the work this student needed to do. Four days left until summer and I have no idea what this student has even accomplished.

The other secret student is someone I've never met before. I received some papers from her (him? the name is awkward, so I'm not sure) last week. I was confused: who is this?! I looked on my original role and there was the name. Why am I just now getting work? This is strange. I don't know what to do. Count only the work this person did? That seems unfair to other students. I don't know.

I'm feeling better now. I'm starting to feel a little sad, though. I'm going to miss teaching.

Kids say the randomest things.

2010-05-22T20:15:00.004-04:00

Friday marked my fortieth day (school day) at the ALC. I thought I would celebrate by writing about forty things students have said to me.

1. Are you going to be here the rest of the year?
2. Are you a real teacher?
3. Is this going to be for a grade?
4. Did you make up this assignment?
5. What's my grade in this class?
6. Am I passing?
7. If I don't turn this in today, will I still be passing?
8. I haven't eaten since lunch yesterday.
9. Oh, did you not see? He pierced his lip with a tack in class.
10. If you were my real teacher, I'd drop out of school.
11. I like this stuff.
12. You're so funny, Ms. Brown.
13. This is my fiance.
14. Do you want to see a picture of my daughter in her new swim suit?
15. The most important person to me is my daughter.
16. The most important object to me is my phone.
17. If I miss one more day of school, I'm going to be sent off.
18. Is Target hiring?
19. How long does the paragraph have to be?
20. Five sentences? What if I only write two?
21. I don't know how to end sentences, so this essay is going to be one long sentence.
22. This is easy.
23. Is today a free day?
24. Are you married?
25. I was pregnant a couple of years ago, but I lost her.
26. I don't get it.
27. Oh, I get it now!
28. Can I borrow a pencil? (X 40)
29. What time we leave this class?
30. Is it true that if you drink enough water, it doesn't matter what you eat?
31. Can I play a game on the computer?
32. Can I listen to my iPod while I work?
33. You're my favorite teacher, Ms. Brown.
34. I can't do this.
35. This wasn't so bad.
36. Ms. Brown, you missed #8 when numbering to ten.
37. I like your shoes.
38. Is 'is' a conjunction?
39. Are you going to have kids?
40. I think maybe I will go to college.

It's been quite the rollercoaster--with only one mini-breakdown. I think I'm going to miss them.

Happy Weekend!

I want to win!

2010-05-21T19:05:00.004-04:00

This is going to shock you.

I just learned how to play Scrabble.

What?! But you're an English MA student? You are practically having an affair with words! How have you never played Scrabble before?!

I have no idea.

Last weekend, Ronald introduced me to Scrabble on his iPhone. Technically, it's a game called "Words." Anyway, he taught me what he knew about the game (read: put down tiles to form words) and we played a few rounds. I was really, really bad it. By Sunday, though, I had beat him once.

Little did I know that there was more to Scrabble than just creating words. When I had asked Ronald what the colored tiles were for, he said, "I don't think they do anything." Yeah... I figured it out this week. (And so did he.) Since I finally understand the rules now, my only problem is my vocabulary. It's kind of like a constant reminder of the verbal section of the GRE. Shiver.

I'm addicted. I've only won twice and that's against the computer (on my phone [on easy]). Every time I play online against a real person, I lose by about 200 points. But I'm pretty sure I will be good enough to beat Ronald next time I see him (seven days!!).

My skill level at Scrabble

This just in...

2010-05-20T14:42:00.002-04:00

ALL of my students passed the Gateway exam*!

GO SOPHOMORES!!!!!

I'm so proud of them!!!

(*All tenth graders must pass this test in order to graduate)

What did you wear today?

2010-05-20T13:37:00.004-04:00

When I wake up in the mornings, I don't really think about what I'm going to wear. I have about five pairs of dress pants, a selection of nice tops, heels in coordinating colors, and a small variety of jewelry. It's pretty much mix-and-match for me in the mornings. Black pants, blue top, black heels, long necklace. (Brown pants, orange shirt, brown heels, gold necklace.) I straighten my hair or put it back in a ponytail. I usually throw on some light eye shadow, occasionally some concealer and eyeliner. And just go.

I'm only saying this because I get judged every single day I walk into the classroom. Not even quietly. Students notice. Monday, I wasn't feeling too hot, so I wore my "comfortable" dress clothes--a polo, black pants, and flats (read: clothes that make me look like a student but still follow dress guidelines enough not to get fired). A student asked me if I was depressed. Today, I have on bright pink and heels and my hair's done up in a clip. A student said, "You look different today." They are constantly commenting on what I'm wearing.

More often, though, they comment on me. No kidding, nearly every single day I am told, "You are so skinny!" by a student. Every. Single. Day. What do you say to that? I usually mutter something like, "Thanks, I guess." See, I am skinny. I weigh about one hundred pounds (on a good day) and I'm about 5'5". I know it's supposed to be a compliment, but every day? Really? I wondered if I wore my jacket in class if it would allude them to not look at how skinny I am. They still said something.

I think I'm starting to feel self-conscious!

Ohhhh, and I can't resist: "Is elated a noun?" (Actual question asked today--no kidding.)

Small class sizes.

2010-05-19T20:58:00.004-04:00

My last period class now has four students on the roster.

Do you know how hard it is to have class with four students? Make that less than four students because they are never all there. Someone is always absent. We read Trifles today. There are only five characters in the play, but I had to read a part and I had to have a student read two parts because we didn't have enough people. It was really funny because he had to talk to himself for a few pages. For me, drama has always been confusing to read. It is even more confusing when you have to double up parts.

I know smaller class sizes are exactly what teachers want, but it does make it harder in some aspects. The good thing, though, is that these students always understand what we're doing. They ask questions and get answers. I feel good about what I'm doing in class with them.

Students had this conversation with me today:

Student 1: I like this stuff, Ms. Brown. Before you got here, they just had us working in these books [Grammar books].
Me: Yes, I know. I was here when you all were doing that work.
Student 2: Yeah, that's when everyone hated you.

I'm not sure what's better: the fact that some students forgot that I was the evil one who assigned grammar forty days ago for two weeks or that they use the word "hate" in past tense. Both make me laugh.

Things that make you go, "Ohhhh, no."

2010-05-18T13:40:00.003-04:00

1. Obama's dog is worth more than my Volvo.

2. Words from a (dear) student: "Is 'communicate' a noun?"

3. Obama's dog is worth more than my last three paychecks combined.

4. A student was suspended today, so the principal checked on his grade. He's failing. So I sent him home with some of his "make-up work" (read: work he didn't do in class because he's lazy). Even if he aces all the work I sent with him, he still won't be passing.

5. Obama's dog is worth more than what I spend on groceries every six months.

How do you plan for free days?

2010-05-17T20:59:00.003-04:00

Monday, Monday, Monday.

Today was a little slow-going. Students were slow to get started and finish things. My eleventh graders? I had them do some parts of speech stuff today as a review? They couldn't pick out adjectives versus adverbs. Or tell me that "table" is a common noun. It kind of hurts A LOT. I should have been doing grammar with them six weeks ago when I did it with the sophomores. Oh, my.

I have finished making out my final exams. They are so easy. I think they are super easy, anyway. Only one week and one day until final exams. Then I'll have two days of nothing for them to do because our principal wants us to give our exams early (Wednesday instead of Thursday or Friday). I'm thinking of playing Julius Caesar for the tenth graders, but I can't think of anything to play for the eleventh graders. Suggestions are welcomed! I'd like for the movies to be somewhat education-related. I just couldn't bring myself to play The Notebook or something. (Though, I do love that movie, but still.)

Maybe I should play To Kill a Mockingbird because that's apparently what I'm supposed to be teaching? A student came in my class today asking for a copy of the book (which I don't have). She said, "[The other English teacher] said you would have a copy because that's what you're doing with your class." Umm.. no? I'm pretty sure I just walked in forty days ago with no plans, and to this day, I have never been given any type of syllabus to follow. I don't know what they've read or what they haven't read. Oh well.

I am tired. Also, my roommate left today for Memphis, so I'm all alone. Sad. The apartment is too quiet. I miss her! I'll probably go to bed early.

Friends.

2010-05-16T18:08:00.012-04:00

Today is my mom's birthday! Happy birthday :)

Today is also my last day working at the hotel. Yay!

This weekend one of my friends got married. It was a really sweet wedding. Plus, I got to see a few of my best friends. Even Ronald came up to visit this weekend. It was great to see everyone and celebrate with the newly weds.

Things have changed so much in one year. I realized that this weekend. We all graduated last year and went our separate ways. We still call and text and Facebook and love each other, but things are different now. It's bittersweet.

During undergrad, I had the best time. I met a few girls who became some of my best friends. We were quirky and dorky and loveable. We studied together, drank margaritas before finals, and discussed Shakespeare over any meal possible. I love my girls. A couple of them are married now. A couple of us are doing different things with our lives, so it's hard to schedule time together. It's life. I miss them being around all the time, but they'll always be my BFFLs :)

My best friends (for life!)

Dionysus of the class.

2010-05-14T09:55:00.003-04:00

I'm having my tenth graders create a Coat of Arms for a mythological god today. I did this with the ninth graders last year when we read The Odyssey and it went over really well. The students seem to like it today, too.

I had a student pick Dionysus, the god of Wine, festivals, and all the jazz. Guess what he put on his Coat of Arms? A bottle of wine (appropriate) and a drawing of beer pong (relevant, but not appropriate). He didn't want to hand it in to me. When I looked at it, I just laughed a little. Technically, beer pong symbolizes "party" for this student so it's relevant, but I'm pretty sure it's school inappropriate. So I told him to draw something else.

Sometimes you just have to laugh.

(I'm just going to note here that I do, indeed, realize what I've learned about him (and other students) today and their weekend activities that are completely off the straight and narrow path of an average-law-abiding sixteen year old. For the sake of this post, Friday, and my sanity, though, I'm just not even going to touch on that topic today.)

Please don't take away my BA.

2010-05-13T20:12:00.005-04:00

This is how my lunch conversation with Ronald went today:

Me: What sound does a goat make?
Ron: Kind of like a "Baaa" sound.
Me: But what sound does a sheep make?
Ron: Like a "Baaa" sound. Why?
Me: Me and Lamanda saw a goat the other day and it baa'ed, but I thought it was a sheep.
Ron: Ohh.
Me: Wait. What kind of sound does a lamb make?
Ron: Baby, a lamb is a sheep. Remember?
Me: Ohhhhhh yeahhhh. They're going to make me repeat kindergarten, aren't they?
Ron: Maybe.

See, this conversation wouldn't have been so bad if I didn't have the lamb vs. sheep conversation with him just a few months ago. It went something like this:

Me: What's the name for a baby sheep? A "sheep-et"?
Ron: Umm.. how about "lamb"?

Apparently, I need to visit a farm. Or study animal sounds.

After that conversation today, though, an hour later, a teacher called me in my classroom and asked me, "What is hyperbole?" I totally gave her the right answer without even thinking twice.

I hope no one ever calls me about farm animals and their distinctive names or noises.

(Extra points for you if you caught the play on "BA" in the title of the post and "Baa" from a sheep (or a goat) (or a lamb?))

Nice things.

2010-05-12T13:07:00.003-04:00

I'm just going to go ahead and confess that I'm typing this in class. Yep. My two students (was three, but he just started throwing up, so I sent him to the office-eww) are working diligently on the essay I've assigned. It's almost too quiet. Thus, this blog post.

Great news! I was wrong about how many days we have left! The last day is a half day. Yay!

I didn't post yesterday because I was a slave and taught all day and then had to work at Target until 10. But something really nice happened yesterday that deserves mentioning. There is a guidance counselor here that has been my cheerleader ever since I arrived here in March. I say hello to him in the mornings. When I first started, he said to me, "I heard something about you." I said, "Oh yeah?" He said, "Yeah, kids do not like your class. You must be doing something right." I laughed it off. It is a compliment to hear that kids don't really like your class because you make them do work (gasp!).

Yesterday I came in and said hello to the counselor and he said, "I heard a compliment about you." I said, "Oh yeah?" I was thinking, "Great! Kids still hate my class!" But then he said, "A student said, 'That class is boring, but I'm learning stuff.'" Then the counselor said, "That's probably the best compliment you can get. Those students really needed your structure." And to be honest, it did make me feel good. I'm glad students are learning. I've made some kind of difference.

There have been quite a few calls today from the principal asking about students' grades in my class. I think they are picking out the ones who are failing and trying to put them into the night school program as a last-ditch effort to help them pass. With only 12.5 days left, I have a feeling I'm going to be seeing a lot of make-up work coming in to me (or a lot of F's).

In other news, after pre-ordering Jen Lancaster's new book, I finally picked it up at the post office on Saturday morning. This is exactly why I love my Kindle so much--fast delivery and no post office pick-up because I have a job and I can't answer the door at noon on a Friday, but I can easily download a book and wait sixty seconds for it show up on a screen. Kindle understands these things.

Anyway, I'm finished with the book now. Her book My Fair Lazy: One Reality Television Addict's Attempt to Discover If Not Being a Dumb Ass Is the New Black, or a Culture-Up Manifesto was an easy read and pretty funny, as always. Jen (we're on a first name basis now) tries to kick her life up a notch by investing time in things other than Survivor and ANTM. She learns about drama, food, and how not saying everything you're thinking makes you have class. The part I really enjoyed was when they went to a restaurant called Moto where the chefs really play with food. It sounds like an awesome place to go eat! Of course what really makes the book good is her sense of humor and wit (Come on, a play off My Fair Lady for the title--great!) I still love Bitter is the New Black the most, but I think I will always read whatever she writes. Good thing, too, because as rumors have it--she will be writing fiction soon! She apparently signed on to write three fiction books. I'm pretty excited!

Okay, time to get back to work!

Not long to go.

2010-05-10T19:03:00.004-04:00

Today is the first Monday in a while that I haven't had to rush home and then rush to class--it feels great! Also, I ended up getting an A in my Romantics class. Yay!

I am going easy on the students. We have ~~fifteen~~ fourteen days left, so I'm pretty much giving them a story to read, some vocabulary, and some writing assignments. Now, I think it's pretty easy going, but the students probably haven't noticed a big change in workload. (Especially the ones sleeping through class today.) We already have a lot of grades, so I don't want to make it where grades are counting so little that it doesn't matter if they do the work or not. Does that make sense? So I'm trying to take fewer grades until the end of the semester.

In the tenth grade classes today, I had them read something by Tim O'Brien. (Remember how much I love love love him?) They were disinterested; some of them read it, though. I even did my own assignment today: Write about why you think people read war stories. Why do people write them? How does reading a war story affect you? I know I'm lame for doing my own assignment, but sometimes I think it's good to do what you're asking the students to do.

In the junior class today, I tried to explain that the story we were reading in class was an archetype of the journey of life. I wanted them to parallel this short journey to a life journey. One student wrote: "Her long journey is like my journey through high school. You have five years of high school." Umm... we do not have five years of high school, only four. I just laughed and shook my head. These students.

I think tomorrow we're going to do something in groups. Sometimes the students get errily quiet and it freaks me out (in the mornings, usually). Surely if I put them in groups, I'll hear some learning going on. I know they have some good thoughts because I read about them. I'd like to hear about them, too.

My mom.

2010-05-09T14:57:00.004-04:00

I don't really mention a lot about my family on my blog, so in honor of Mother's Day, I'll introduce a very special member of my family: my mom.

My mom married my dad when she was sixteen years old--that's 27 years of marriage under her belt (and counting)! She would tell you herself that her main dream in life was (and is) to be a good mother. She didn't have much of a relationship with her own mother growing up, so it is important to her to be the mother she never had to her own children.

And I have to say, she's done it.

There are three of us: Derek (26), Jesse (24), and me (22). By the time my mother was the age I am now, she had three small children and a husband. How my parents ever provided for us all still amazes me. We never wanted for anything. Not ever. Not even today.

My mom, my dad, me, Jesse, and Derek exactly one year ago at my college graduation

When I was little, she read to me, helped me pack my lunch, and let me hide behind her leg when I wanted to be shy. She has always believed in my dreams, backed whatever decisions I've made, and encouraged me to do my best. She's never told me I could never do something. That means a lot to me because otherwise, I wouldn't have had the confidence to get to where I am today.

(As a side note, she also reads my blog every day--talk about commitment! [hi, mom!])

The best thing about my mom, though, is who she is. If you ever met her, I promise you that you would never meet anyone else like her. She is quirky, always completely herself, no matter what.

My mother helped raise three wonderful children. She is still raising us. A mother's work never ends. And I couldn't be more thankful. I have a lot to learn from her.

Happy Mother's Day!

What a good week.

2010-05-07T22:32:00.003-04:00

Hands down, this has been the best week of the year teaching-wise. I am so glad. A lot of my students are working hard to pull off a passing grade. It's great!

I cannot deny, however, that attendance is dwindling. As the school year comes to an end, more students are calling it quits early--some on their own, some by the school system. That kid who threw his chair down and called me an ugly name? He's not coming back to school this year. Since he was failing, they told him not to come back. The fuse is short this time of the year, so administration is not playing around when it comes to drama. I've had a couple of students, though, who just missed an entire week. It's sad, but smaller classrooms equal more learning (apparently). Another teacher and I were talking this morning, and I commented that it looked like we were missing a bunch of students. She whispered, "I hope it stays like this."

I am apparently not the only one who notices a significant difference when attendance is low.

I am prepared for an eventful, celebratory weekend. Yay, weekend!

Plans and stuff.

2010-05-06T18:52:00.004-04:00

Today was another good day. I'm starting to think that the students are getting used to me and my style of teaching (and I'm getting used to them and their styles of learning). We're meshing well this week. I'm super glad about it. My life seems so much easier.

I completely forgot about our weekly Thursday meeting today. As I was walking out, I was reminded about it. Eeeek. I stopped by the room and said hello to the assistant principal to let her know that yes, I was in fact alive and well and teaching class. She didn't mind that I forgot about the meeting and asked how everything was going. I told her how wonderful this week has been especially in comparison to last week. It was nice to get to talk to her and get some encouragement.

Classes are over for me. I haven't received my grade yet, but I know it will be an A- or a B+. I got an 89 on my research paper. Granted it is only one point away from an A, I still felt guilty about my work not being "A" worthy. I will be a more dedicated student next semester, I promise. Actually, I will be. I have decided to go ahead and finish my MA degree next year. If all goes according to plan, I will graduate next May (one year!!). I know that if I continue to go part-time, it will cost me so much more in the long run, and my work won't be up to par with other MA students' work. I did my best this year trying to juggle working three jobs and go to school part-time; school work suffered for me. Don't get me wrong, I did pass my classes. It's just I know I can do so much better. So, I will.

It's hard to believe that in 367 days, I could have my MA degree. I never thought I'd ever make it this far in my educational life. Even if I quit now, I would still be so proud of what I accomplished (but I won't quit, of course).

As for this weekend? It's all about my roommate! She is graduating with her BS on May 08th. I am so excited for her!!

Yay, education!

Happy and calm.

2010-05-05T20:02:00.002-04:00

This week has been quite calm. It's kind of scary. Students have been coming in with good attitudes, doing mediocre to average to wonderful quality of work, and have been nice to me.

I am very happy about this! I'm hoping the next two days go just as well.

The other day, I had the desks arranged in a circle and we were going over the last practice test for the EOC test (that they took today) aloud. The students were doing really well with it--giving answers, reading aloud, discussing it. One of the students said, "I really like this stuff." I nearly cried out of happiness; no one has told me they liked anything in class since I've started working there. Then, at the end of class, I told this student, "I put in today's grade for you. You're officially passing this class now." He said, "Really?! I haven't passed an English class since middle school." He was so happy to be passing. I assume he's exaggerating the part about not passing English for years, but his pride made me feel proud for him.

I think the change in attitudes stems from their acceptance of the fact that I'm trying to help them pass. It's crunch time. We have 18 school days left. I am devoted to helping these students make up work and get stuff correct, and I think they are realizing it now. I am still giving them a chance to pass when a lot of teachers at this point of the school year have written them off as failures.

They may not appreciate me all the time, but I care all the time. Sometimes, I think, they care, too. This week has been nice.

Oh, standardized tests.

2010-05-04T10:00:00.003-04:00

A poem about Gateway testing:

Read. read. read.
Think.
Choose.
Bubble A.
Read. read. read.
Think.
Choose.
Bubble B.
Read. Skim. Glance.
Guess.
Choose.
Bubble C.
Skim. Glance. Skip.
Bubble.
Bubble 'til it looks like
a Christmas tree.

Book 16.

2010-05-03T08:00:00.003-04:00

My life has been hectic this semester, so I haven't had as much time to read for pleasure since 2010 started, but I've managed to finish book sixteen of the year: The Crazy Makers: How the Food Industry Is Destroying Our Brains and Harming Our Children by Carol Simontacchi.

Before I review this book, I have to confess something. I love to learn about food, particularly fast food. I mean it. I love to read books like Fast Food Nation and Supersize Me, and I love to watch every documentary on McDonald's every single time it comes on TV. I subscribe to blogs like Fed Up With Lunch (about a teacher eating the school's lunch every day in 2010 to prove a point) and My Food Looks Funny (funny pictures of food). I love to hear about how fast food is making our culture fat. I love to learn about how fast food became so popular and who the geniuses behind the drive-thru were. I eat it up. I am just fascinated with America's (or the world's) obsession with fast food even though we all know it's unhealthy junk.

Saying this, these books never really influence my eating habits. I can't cook. I don't know how to make more than six different meals, the majority of them involving chicken. I like fast food--I go through times when I'll eat it often and then I won't eat it at all for a while. My eating habits are poor, but I'm not overweight by any means. (I can't even give blood because I don't weigh enough!) I am just a kitchen-klutz.

Anyhow, so when I saw this book, I just knew I wanted to read it. The basic gist is this: Stop eating out. Eat at home. Use real food. Don't cook from a box. Eat fruits. Eat vegetables. Eat fish. Eat red meats. You will feel better. Plain and simple.

Easy right? Haha.

The most interesting thing in this book was the chapter on the affect of diet on a pre-natal baby and an infant because that's when it really counts because that's when the brain is forming. If you aren't giving your baby enough nutrients, how do you think he is going to develop correctly? This book is pro-breast feeding for at least one year. And why not? Children can depend solely on breast milk and it's free. When manufacturer's put "essential nutrients" on canned formula, the word "essential" doesn't mean "everything your baby needs"--it just means "we've added things that the body needs but doesn't create. Oh, and we added some other stuff, too." It has been proven over and over that breastfed children develop better, are healthier, and are more intelligent. Facts, people.

Another interesting thing in this book is about how food affects our moods and our mental health (where the book's namesake comes from: crazy makers). I know this from personal experience (and so do you, probably). If you feed yourself junk, you will feel like junk. If you feed your body what it needs, then you can function normally, concentrate on tasks, and be more emotionally stable. This is even true for teenagers. So please, please, please give your child a good breakfast (not cereal) before they come to school so they won't crash in my classroom and become an emotional wreck because their bodies are empty of nutrients, thus taking it out on me.

Of course, let it be noted that not all mood problems are food related, but I can say that I do believe a lot of situations would be avoided or handled differently (for everyone) if our bodies had the amount of nutrients it needed.

One thing I am trying to do now is reduce the amount of sugar intake from what I'm eating. Simontacchi recommends taking sugar out of your diet and within two weeks, you will see a difference in your energy levels and concentration abilities. (I'd like to note here that this was recommended for a child in school, but really, are we any different? Who needs that much sugar in their diet?) I don't normally worry about things like this, but I figure if it will make me less groggy, then it won't hurt to try it to some degree.

All in all, the book was informative--at times a little too scientific for the sci-dummy over here. She even includes recipes and a nutritional guide to help you "turn your back on the American food culture."

I'm not going to say my life was changed by this book, but I did enjoy reading it.

Yay, food!

Busy, busy.

2010-05-02T12:49:00.003-04:00

I haven't forgotten about you all, I promise. I'm behind on reading, commenting, and (obviously) blogging. I've been working at least two jobs each day for the past three days, so my time has been crunched into nearly nothing.

Thursday and Friday were amazingly better than the first part of the week. The students were much better, so I didn't have a complete break down before the end of the week. I am happy when students work and learn and don't throw things at me or call me ugly names. It just makes life so much easier. Learning makes my heart happy. I do like these kids; I want them to do well. That's why I rant so much when they throw it back in my face. I care so much about their education and I want them to care, too. Days like Thursday and Friday give me the energy and encouragement to keep going.

I have absolutely no plans for this upcoming week, but I plan to work that out sometime tonight.

I now know how I will be spending my summer: reading. Not for pleasure, but for purpose. I received the MA reading list this week and Oh. My. Gosh. So many things are on it. Since I am planning to take the MA exam next spring, I will need to read the majority of what's on there (for my sections) this summer. I will try to get in a couple of fun reads, though.

Like.... Jen Lancaster's book that comes out this Tuesday (Titled: My Fair Lazy). I pre-ordered it because I just love her, and I read over at Rebecca's blog that pre-ordering a book really helps the author by showing an interest in the book (therefore more bookstores stocking it, etc). I've never really been concerned with things like this before, but after following so many writers' blogs now-a-days, I realize that every little bit can help. I'm pro-author, so I want to support the people who write all the wonderful things I read.

MA class ends tomorrow with the final exam (yay!), so that will be one less thing I have to worry about. Also, I have put in my two-week notice at the hotel. The main reason is because I hate working there now because I feel like nothing was ever done when another co-worker bullied me (twice). Another reason is because I want my weekends back. And I want to go home this summer for a little while to do this said MA reading (and see my family because I miss them SO much). And the most obvious reason to quit is, of course, because normal people don't have three jobs and now I know why not.

Don't ask me why I have to raitionalize quitting; it's just a quirk of mine.

This is a really random blog post, but it's all I can put into words at the moment. My mind is in a thousand places right now!

Full-time craziness.

2010-04-29T09:47:00.002-04:00

I have never been a irresponsible person. I got my first job when I was 15 at Chick-fil-A and I worked there for two years. Then, I moved to JC for college and immediately found a job here. I've been through a few different jobs until I found ones that were cozy enough to keep, but I never went without working.

During high school and college, I worked part-time. I put school first and then worked. It seems like being a full-time student and having a part-time job would make for a crazy schedule. But it didn't. I liked my schedule.

Here I am today. This interim position is the first full-time job I've ever had. Sure I've worked forty hours a week between a couple of jobs every now and then, but this is the first time that I'm working forty hours every week at the same job.

I would just like to know when people find time to do things? Or find the energy? How did my parents raise me? How did they ever have enough energy to pay any attention to me? Much less me and my two brothers? I'm kind of amazed. I don't even find time to eat more than one meal every single day. When I leave school, I go home, sometimes nap, and then talk to my roommate and go to bed. Literally, that's what I do. It's rare that I actually accomplish anything during the week, like laundry, cleaning, cooking, shopping, etc.

Does it get easier? Do you manage to eat twice a day? Do you not feel the need to sleep every spare second of the day? Please tell me how.

Today is a good day, though :)

There's hope.

2010-04-28T18:18:00.004-04:00

Today, one of my students came up to me and said, "Ms. Brown, I'm sorry for the way I acted yesterday. I was in a really bad mood. I'm sorry I was being an ass."

Thank you.

This student is normally one of the good ones (asks questions, pays attention, does work), and I guess he really was just having a bad day yesterday. I don't even think I remember him even being mean to me yesterday--probably because I dealt with so much other stuff all day long. But, oh, how I appreciate some niceness. So so so so much.

There's hope after all.

And this? This is why there are still teachers teaching. Because some students really do care. Some students listen. Some students are affected in a good way. And that's worth it. For them.

I really needed this today.

I'm tired.

2010-04-28T09:35:00.003-04:00

Of everything.

Yesterday I had an incident in my last class where a student was using his phone, so I asked for him to give it to me. He said no, of course, and to make a long story short, he ended up throwing his desk to the floor along with his materials as he left the room and said to me, "You're a bitch."

I'm pretty sure they suspended him.

After Monday and Tuesday's tantrums, I came in today hoping it would be slightly better. I've only had one class so far today and while a majority of the students are quiet (not to say on-task or actually passing), I had one student just jump all over me for trying to take his note that he wasn't supposed to be writing in class.

I don't get it.

How come I'm doing my job, I'm the one who cares, I'm the one who gives them so many chances and yet, I'm the one who is yelled at every day and disrespected?

I knew going into this job that it would be difficult. I wish I had something witty or optimistic to say here, but I'm done for today.

Here's to a better tomorrow.

Ms. Brown, you're the best.

2010-04-27T10:36:00.002-04:00

Events today:

Me: Since you all didn't do so well yesterday's assignment, I decided that I would let today's grade replace yesterday's grade. I'm going to walk you all through today's assignments so you all will do really well.

Students: Wow, thanks. Yesterday, I was feeling off, so I didn't do my best. I really appreciate this chance to bring up my failing grade.

Me: Oh, you're welcome. Now, let's start. (insert teaching here) Okay, so who has a guess for the first question?

Students: (insert lots of students responding at once)

Me: Okay, okay. Not everyone at once. You, right there. What do you think?

Student: The answer is A.

Me: Right! Good job. Let's keep going.

...some time later while grading...

Me: A. A. A. A. A. A.

I may or may not have just made this up in my head.

There is a small possibility that the room stayed silent while I willed students to discuss today's topic. I may have replaced low "F" grades with slightly higher "F" grades and it may be the case that no one appreciated a second chance.

You take a guess.

These kids.

2010-04-26T20:17:00.005-04:00

I went to a high school in the Memphis City School District. I guess you can qualify it as an "inner city" school. I slept most days. I got by on knowledge from middle school. I was out of place in high school. I cared about learning and I was shunned for actually doing my work, so I learned to just do nothing and not get picked on for four years. Don't get me wrong, I met a few people in high school who are amazing. Generally speaking, though, I hated my school. I learned absolutely nothing--when I was asked to write a speech for graduation (I graduated 2nd in my class), I had nothing to say. All I wanted to say was, "THANK GOD IT'S OVER."

There were at least three physical fights at my school a week. I learned to avoid them (except once when a girl nearly hit me with a chair; she wanted to fight me because she called me a whore and I called her jealous). There was always some drama going on at school--which is normal when dealing with teenagers. I think, though, that the anger behind the drama at my school was what was unbearable. Everyone was so quick to fight. Nothing was ever settled in words. I didn't get it.

Teaching at the ALC is bringing back a lot of high school memories. A girl from my homeroom was involved in a fight last week and another fight today (this time with a guy). There is always talk about who hates who and who is going to "get" who after school. I can sense the same amount of anger in these students as I did when I was in high school. I don't know what they are so angry about, and I don't know how to get their attention on classwork instead of violence. I try to get them focused but nothing really works. It's always something.

I had a girl today sleep through my class and after repeatedly asking her to sit up and work, I sent her to the office. She had an attitude, of course. She said I should try being pregnant and then see if I feel like doing any work. (Apparently she didn't catch my post where I confess that I don't care about your personal "problem" of being a mother.) Then she threw her book at me. Seriously? Yes. It didn't hit me or anything, but still. Why? Why is it this that important? I mean, how did she become that angry at me about English class?

I know it's not me. I know it's them--their lives, whatever is going on in their lives. I'm just a punching bag for their emotions. I know that. Sometimes, though, I wonder if I'm getting through to anyone.

On a slightly higher note, a boy in one my classes left a note on the floor today. I picked it up and read it (don't judge me; it's my classroom and he shouldn't have been writing notes in my class, anyway). It was a really sweet love letter to his (wannabe) girlfriend about how much he loves her and can't concentrate on work (very true; he failed today's stuff) and how he never wanted to wake up in the mornings until yesterday because now she's in his life. It was uber-sweet. The best part was that he came back to the room to get it. I handed it to him; he probably knows I read it and I don't really care. I wish he would love him some English class. But, oh, the emotions of a teenager in love.

They are crazy creatures, yes?

Aww.

2010-04-25T18:40:00.006-04:00

Complete this analogy: happy:blissful::my weekend: ?

If you answered anything synonymous with awesome, then give yourself ten points.

:)

I'm ranting.

2010-04-23T16:40:00.003-04:00

Friday!

I finally moved my grades over from notebook paper to an Excel worksheet. My life is so much easier now. Thank you, Microsoft.

It is no secret that I have a low tolerance for stupid. So, it is kind of amazing that I didn't say something incredibly demeaning and sarcastic when a student told me (after I told her to start her classwork), "You try having a baby crying all night and see if you feel like doing this."

I almost died inside. One: pregnancy is 100% preventable (don't you watch Mtv?); don't act like this is a burden you couldn't have avoided. Two: If you don't want to work for an education, then don't come to class. Three: I am an adult. I am your teacher. Respect me.

This is not my first time dealing with this type of conversation. It KILLS me when students act like they are better than me because they have a child. As far as I know, giving birth is not something out-of-the-ordinary; women do it every day. I never thought not having a child would be held against me. Like because I'm not a mother, what I say and what I teach isn't valid. PLEASE.

I have no sympathy. I'm sorry if that sounds cold-hearted but that's the truth. You come to school to learn. Stay at home if you want to deal with your crying baby and nap. Plain and simple.

Anyway, besides that, today went pretty well.

All my papers are graded. My paper for class is finished. I'm ready for the weekend!

Grades and such.

2010-04-22T20:26:00.003-04:00

The rest of my day went well. We had a meeting after school to discuss students who would move up in the program and which students weren't eligible. Let's just say the meeting didn't even last twenty minutes. It was good to be around the other teachers, though. Sometimes I'm stuck in my classroom all day and I get to thinking that maybe I'm the crazy one and these students only act this out of control and disrespectful in my classroom because I'm a newbie and they can get away with it. This is not true. These teachers are at the same point I am. They made me laugh because their comments about some of the things that happen at school are exactly what I was thinking. I'm not alone, thank goodness.

I am afraid, though, that my grades will be challenged. Since it is time for mid-term grades and I only have about three students passing at this point, most of my students are highly upset. I had a girl say today, "I had a B average when (the old teacher) was here. And I better have a B average this time." She's failing. And with her attitude, I don't expect her to pass. Most of my students said that if they fail this semester, they will not be returning. I doubt that (because by LAW they have to come to school), but it is disheartening.

English is the determining course if someone "passes" to the next grade. I have a lot of responsibility right now. I just wish the students knew that they have even more responsibility than me. All I can do is teach and grade. They are the ones who must show up to class, pay attention, learn, ask questions, and do well on assignments.

I am glad tomorrow is Friday. So, so, so glad. I am visiting Ronald this weekend. It will be wonderful :)